S0MMUURS ALM0AST 0VUR.....ANOTHYUR POEUM

WELL 1TS THE END 0F AWGUST AND 1 KAN SAY TH1S, THAT 1TS BEEN A GRATE

S0MMURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DARE WUZ L0TS 0F GUD PARTIES, L0TS 0F K0MB0ES, AND L0TS 0F 0LD E AND OF COURSSS, L0TS 0F SECKS W1TH CH1CXS. LABUR DAYE 1S KOMING UPP AND 1 HAVE L1KE 340923498239048239 PARTEEES THAT 1 G0T 1NVUTED T00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYWAYE, 0NE 0F THE HYLYTES 0F THE SUMMUR 1S THE FAKT THAT WE STARTUD TH1S BL0G AND 1 WANTUD TO RYTE ANOTHYR POEUM, TH1S TYME REGARD1NG THE GRATE SUMMYURD. PLEEZE REED 0N......AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

OH SUMMYUR 1TS ALM0ST 0VUR
L1KE A PHART 1N THE WYND
A FAD1NJ MAMARRORY.

PALM TREES AND SM0K1NJ TREES
1 EET S0 MANY K0MB0ES
AFTER 1 SMOAK
THE GANJE

OLD E G0ES D0WN
S0 SM00THLEE
WUN 1 DRENK TO0O MANYEE
1 KANT SEEE
STRATE

THE NYTES ARE GET11NJ KOOULUR
1 JOST TOOK
THE B1GGUEST D0MP EVUR
"BOOULLER BOOULER!!"
WHAT A GRATE MOOVIEE THAT 1S

1 SAYD T0 A FREND
"HAY MANN, LUUK AT TH1SS SUNSET
IT'S ORANJE
L1KE THE CHEEYZE 1N KOMB0ES"
HE SAYD
"1 HEER Y00 MANN, 1TS ENUFF T0 MAKE
A GR0WN MAN
KRYE"

1 EM TEER1NJ UPP A BYT. HOAP THE CH1CKX ARE REED1NJ TH1SS, 1T SH0WS MY SENSETE1V SYDE. NOT K1D1NG!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOS1NG THE BATHRRUUM PR0PERLEE

0KAY TH1S 1SSH00 1S M00RE 0F A D00D TH1NJ BUT 1TS ALS0E POSSUBUL THAT 1T K1LD BE A GURL TH1NJ T00, 1T RE1LLY DEPENDZ 0N THE PERSUN HAHAHAHAAH N0T K1D1NG!!!!!!!!
SO 1 WENT T0 TAKE A WEE T0DAYE AT 0NE 0F MY 6 J0BBS, BECAKSE 1 DR1UNK A L0T 0F WATEURD AND KAWFEE. 1 TRYE T0 EET HELTHY (1VE HERD K0MB0ES, WATURD, KAWFEE, AND 0LD E 1S A G00D HELTHY KOMBOE..PARD0N THE PUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1...MOORE 0N TH1SS LATURDD!!!!

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH) AND WEUN 1 WENT T0 Y00SE THE RESTRUUM DARE SEEMS T0 BE D00DS WHO KANT AYM K0RREKTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 EM NOT 0NE 0F THEM 1 MAYK SURE MY WANJ AYMS AT WARE 1T NEEDS T0. WUT 1 D0NT 0NDERSTAND 1S THAT H0WE Y00 KAN M1SS 1T S0 BLANTANTLEE S0 PEE1NJ 1S L1KE WALK1NNJ ON A MINEFEELD. YESS OKAYE 1 KN0WE 1TS GR0SS BUT 1TS AN ISSHOO THAT NEEDS T0 BE ADDRUSSED!!!!!! S0 D00DS WYN Y00 ARE Y000S1NJ THE FAS1L1TEES, ALWAYZ AYM..... N0T F0R THE STARRS!!!!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHGAGAGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!! MANN 1 KANT HELPP H0WE F0NNEE 1 AM.

0NE KWIK ST0REE, DARE WUZ TH1S 0NE D00D AT 0NE 0F MY 0LD J0BBS, H00 USED T0 TALK 0N THE F0AN WYLE TAK1NJ A KRAP . VERRY GR0SS!!!!!!1 AND THEN HE W1LDNT WASCH H1S HANDSS AFTURWARDSS. GREGG WAS WITNUSS T0 TH1S T00, 1 YEWSED T0 D0 TH1SS BUT THEN CH1CX W1LD THENK T1T WAS DISG0ST1NG S0 1 STOPPUD AND SAW THE ERRUR 0F MY WAYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND N0WE WUN 1 Y00SE THE JAWN, 1 EM VERRY MANNUR DR1VEN. CH1CKS L1KE MANNURS. N0T K1D1NG. ALS0E PASS1NJ GASS L1KE DARES N0 T0M0RR0WE 1N THE BATHRUUM (OR 1N GENEERUAL) 1S ALS0E S0RT 0F NASTEE, BUT FUNNEE AT THE SAYM TYME. TPTHTPTHTPTHTPTHPTHTTHTPTHPTHTPTHPHTP
YAH

1 LYKE T0 RYTE T00

GREGGS LAST POEUM 1NSPYRED ME S0 MUCH T0 RYTE S0 1 HEERS THE 0NE 1 R0AT. 1 AM 0FFEN 1NSPIRED BY EDGURD ALLUM POHE, SHAYKSSPEER, AND OTHUR GRATES. 1 AM 0NE KULLCHUURED M0THERFUKKUR. 0NE 0F THE REEZ0NS 1 HAVE SECS W1TH A L0T 0F CH1CKX 1S THAT 1 AM 0N 0NE HAND A TUFF B1YOTCH, BUT 1 AM ALS0 A TR00 SKOLUR. S0 W1TH0WT FURTHUR D00, HEER WE G0. TH1S 1S AB0WT A GURL H00 1 RELL1Y LIKED 0NE DAYE

1TS KALLYD, HEVEY MUTUL L0VE

1 SAW Y00 STAND1NG FR0M AFARR,

1 NEEDYD S0METHENJ FR0M THE BARR

1 THEN HAD T0 PASS S0ME GASS

1T WAS THEN, 1 SAW

Y00R ASS

AND FELL

1N LUV

Y00 D1DNT G1VE ME THE TYME 0F DAYE

1T WAS 0KAYE

1 DINT PRAYE

BEKAYSE

1M N0T RELIJJUSS

Y00 T0LD ME T0 GET THE F0KK 0WT 0F HEER

AFTUR 1 OFFURED Y00 A BEER

1T WAS KLEER

THAT 1 GR0SSUED Y00 0WT

S0 THEN 1 HAD T0 SH0WT

1 NEED TO PHART REEL BAD!!!!!!!

BUT 1TS ALL GUD, BECKAUSE THEN

1 H1T 0N AN0THUR GURL

SHE MYTE HAVE BEEN A D00D F0R ALL 1 KN0WE

T00 MUCH 0LD E W1LL D0 THAT

MAN THAT BEER MAKES ME G0E.

PEE

S0 1N THE END, 1 NEVUR G0T ANY.

1 THEN HAD T0 G0T0 DENNYS

AND 0RHYDR PLENTY

M00NS 0VUR MYHAMMEE

AND A SAWMPLUR PLATTURD

W0W N0W 1 HAVE R1LLY

G0 EAT A BAG

0F K0MB0ES

MY LUVE F0R Y00 ST1LL GR0ES

ANY THAWTES 0N MY PEOUM!>??!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

1 R0AT A P0EUM

1F Y00 REED TH1S BL0J REGYULURLEY THEN Y00 KN0WE THAT 1 EM A PRITTEY BADASSS M0THRF0KKKUR. BUT 1 ALS0E HAV A SENSS1T1V, THAWTFULL S1DE, WICH HELPSS ME HAV SEKS W1TH CH1XS. W1TH THAT 1N M1ND, PLEEZ REED MY AWSUM P0EUM.

AN 0AD T0 K0MB0ZE, BY GREGG

Y00 ARR AWSUM
PR0BUBLEY THA BESST THINJ 1N THA WERLD
BESYDES SEKS W1TH CHIXS.

Y00 ARR KRUNCHEEY
L1KE A BUNTCH 0F R0X W00D PR0BUBLEY BEE
1F Y00 K00D EET R0X.

Y00 ARR T00B-SHAYPED
L1KE MY WANG
BUT Y00 ARR MUTCH, MUTCH, MUTCH SMALLUR THEN MY EN00RMUSS WANG.

Y00 ARR DELISHUSS
SALTEY AND CHEEZEY
L1KE MY BAWLZ.

Y00 - ARR THA GRATEST SNAK F00D EVUR 1NVENTUD, EVIN BETTUR THEN SLIM JIMZ.
Y00 - ARR EVERYTHINJ T00 MEE.
Y00 - ARR K0MB0ZE.

- THA END -

M00S1K ANALESYS

OKAY, BE1NJ THE S0RT 0F M00S1K K0N0S0RE THAT 1 AM, 1D L1KE T0 TAYK TH1S OPPORT00NITY T0 RE1LLY DESKRYBE H0W 1 BRAKE D0WN A S0NJ. SOME S0NJS ARE MENT T0 BE TAYKEN AT FASE VAL00 WARE DARES N0 DEEPUR THAWTE REKWIRED, BUT THEN THARE ARE SUM THAT R1LLY M00VE 0NE'S EM0SHUNUL M0WNTANS WEN L1STENYUD T0.
0NE 0F THESE S0NJS 1S THE VAN HALYN H1T "J0MP" FR0M I984. 1 REMEMBVR THE DAYE L1KE 1T WAS YESTERDAYE WUN 1 FURST HERD 1T. S1TT1NG BAKK AT MY PARENTZ H0WSE, EET1NJ K0MB0ES, PHART1NJ, AND WATCHENJ MTVEE WUN THEY ACKSUALLY PLAYD M00S1K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 AND N0T PEMP MY RYDE ESPISOAD 43948290!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT 1 DIGRESS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHA

S0 LETS TAYK THE LERIKS T0 THE S0NJ AND TH1NJ AB0WT THEM. HAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA , I WILL TAYK EECH SECTIONE 0F THE S0NJ AND BRAYK 1T D0WNE!!!


"1 GETT UPP AND N0THINJ GETS ME D0WNE.
Y00 G0T 1T TUFF. 1VE SEEN THE TUFFEST AR0WNDE
AND 1 KN0WE BABYEE, J0ST H0W Y00 FEEL.
Y00VE G0T T0 R0AL W1TH THE PUNCHUS, T0 GET WUTS REEL"

0KAY.N0WE WUT LEE ROWTH 1S SAYI1NJ HEER 1S THAT HE WAYKS UP 1N THE M00RN1NJ, EETS A BAG 0F K0MB0ES AND HE FEELS L1KE A MEELION BUKKS!!!!! LYKE HE K1LD TAYK 0VUR THE W0RLD!! AND T0 NEVER LET L1FE GET Y00 D0WNE, Y00 J0ST G0TTA KEEP 0N KEEP1NMJ ON!!!!!!!!!!!

OH KANT Y00 SEE ME STAND1NJ HEER,
1VE G0T MY BAKK AGANST THE REKKYURD MASHEEEN
1 AYNT THE W0RST THAT Y000VE SEEN.
OH KANT Y00 SEE WUT 1 MEEAN!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HEER THE D00D 1S HAVN1J A TUFF TYME, HE 1S 1N A BARR AND HE 1S VERRY DRUNKK BUT HE SEES THE GURL THAT HE WANTSZ..HE 1S FEEL1NK 1NSEKOORE AB0WT HIMSELF. TYME T0 EET M0RE K0MB0ES AND GET DRUNKK AND F0KKED UP!!!!!!!!!

MYTE AS WEILL J0MP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JOMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 G0 AHED J0MP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

N0W WUT HE 1S TELLINJ Y00 1S THAT N00NE KAN H0LD Y00 BAKK FR0M Y00R DREEMS, Y00 NEED T0 JOMP OVUR TH0AS H0RDLES W1CH L1FE THR0WS 1N Y00R WAY!!!!!!!! N0 MATTUR WUT, Y00 HAVE T0 KEEP THE DREEM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MANN EVUN J0ST WRITI1NJ TH1SS, 1 FEEL INSPIYRED ..REDY T0 TAYK 0N THE WORULD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1M GONNA G0 BUYE S0ME K0MB0ES AND 0LD E, AND R1LLY G0 GET S0ME ST0FF D0NE!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE EVUN SN1FF S0ME GL00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAHAHHAHAHHASDJHKASJDHASJKDHASJKDHKASHADAHJAHJAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH

AN 1NT1M1T SUBJEKT

HY EVEREYB0DDEY T0DAYY 1 WUNTED T0 TAULK AB0WT A SUBJEKT THAT M0AST PEEPUL ARR A LITUL UNKUMFTURBULL D1SKUSSINJ. THA SUBJEKT 1S PURSUNUL HYJEENE. F00R MANEY YEERZ 1 D1D N0T FULLEY 0NDURSTAND THA 1MP00RTANSE 0F BEINJ KLEEN. BUT N0W 1 D00. 1 EM 0LDUR, W1ZUR, AND M0AST 1MP00RTINTLEY, MUTCH KLEENUR.

F0R 0NE THINJ, CHIKS D0NT L1KE T0 HAVE SEKS W1T Y00 1F Y00 SMELL BADD. AN EKSEPSHUN T00 TH1S R00L 1S IF THA CHIK 1S VEREY DR0NK. BEKAWSE, AS WE HAV SED, DR0NK CHIXS L1KE SEKS M00R THAN S0BUR CH1XS. THAY W1L IGN00R YER STENTCH, BEKAWSE 1T 1S HARD T0O SMELL THINJS WEN Y00 ARR BAIRLEY K0NSHUSS. N0T K1D1NJ. THA P0YNT 1S, 1F YER TRYEINJ T0 HAV SEKS W1T A S0BUR CHIK, TAYKE A SH0WUR, WASH YER WANG, AND PUT 0N L0TS 0F YER F1N1ST K0L0AN.

ALS0 1T 1S HARD T0 GIT A J0BB 1F Y00 SMELL L1KE ASSS. 1 1NTURVYEWED F0R MANEY J0BBS 1N THA BIZNISS WERLD, 0N WALL STREAT, 0R WUTEVUR, AND 1 D1D1NT GIT ANNY 0F THEMM. M0AST TYMES 1 WUZ JUST ASKD T0 LEEVE THA BILD1NJ, WITH0WT EVIN GITTIN T00 THA 1NTURVYEW. TH1S 1S DEF1N1ITLEE BEKAWSE 1 HAD H0RRIBULL B0DDEE 0DUR. 0NE DAYY 1 TUK A SH0WUR, W1T S0PE AND EVERYTHINJ. 1 EVIN SKRUBBD MY BAWLZ REEL GUD. THEN 1 WENT T00 MY INTURVYEW AT THA L0KUL WAWA, AND 1 G0T THA J0BB N0 PR0BLUM. THAY HYRED MEE 0N THA SP0T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WUZ A GRATE J0BB, BEKAWSE 1 K00D SWYPE ALL THA K0MB0ZE 1 WUNTED, AS L0NJ AS THA DIKKASS MANAJUR WUZINT LUKING. ALS0 THARE WUZ TH1S H0TT CHIK THAT WERKED THA SANDW1TCH K0WNTUR. 0NE DAYY SHEE ASKD MEE T0 GIT SUM L0NCHMEET FRUM THA FRIJJE 1N THA BAKK, AND 1 KAME BAKK W1TH MY PANTS AR0WND MY ANKULS. 1 SED, "HAY BABEY, ALL 1 K00D F1ND WUZ TH1S GIYANT SALAMEE!!!!!!" AAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! YAH 1 EM A PRITTEY GUD K0MEDEEYAN. ANNYWAY 1 WUZ FYRED LATUR THAT DAYY.

YAH, S0, THA P0YNT 1S, STAYY KLEEN AND Y00 W1LL GIT K0MB0ZE.

MAT1TH W1TH ER1KK 1O7 - Y00 KAN HAVE F0N ..N0T K1D1NG

1TS A GRATE M0NDAYE......HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA 0H MAN, 1 DRANK A L0T 0F EVERYEETHENJ AND ATE A L0T 0F K0MB0ES TH1S WEEKUND. 1 D0NT EVEN REMEMBUR M0AST 0F 1T!!!!!! AHSDAJDHAJDKHAKJDHAJKDHAJKDHA. YAH.
ANYH0WE ENUFF AB0WT THATT, T0DAY 1 FELT THE NEED T0 RE1LLY K0NVEY H0W MUCH F0N 1 THENK MATH 1S. 1TS N0T A SUBKJEKT Y00 HAVE T0 HAYT!!!!! M0AST PEEPLE T0TALLY SH0N 1T, HAHHAHAAHAHA BUT 1 D0NT AND NEFUR W1LL 1 K0NSIDUR MYSELVE A JOONYOR MATHEMETISHUN 1 G0T STRA1GHT EFFS 1N SKO0L BEKAWSE 1 HAD MY 0WN THEE0REES THAT THE TEECHURS J0ST D1DNT GET. S0METYMES JENNIUSSES ARE M1SUNDERST00D, 1TS J0ST THE STR0GGLE WE HAVE.

S0 HEERS WUT 1D L1KE Y00 T0 D0. REED THE F0LL0W1NG EKWASHUNS AND THEN D0NT L00K AT THE ANSY00RS, TRIE T0 FIGGOUR 1T 0WT AND THEN LUUOOK!!!!!!!!

0KAY EQUASHUN N0MBUR 1)

1F DARE ARE 4O 40 0WNCE BOTTULS 0F 0LD E HALF FOLL 0N THE WAL, HOW M0CH BEER 1S LEFT?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?...................................................................................



1F Y00 QUESSEUD. 8OO OWNCES. Y00 ARE WR0NJ. S0RREE D00DS AND D00DETTES. THE REEZ0N BE1NG, 1S THAT EVERY0NE MYTE SAY TH1S..BUT R1LLY THENK AB0WT 1T. THE BEER 1S PROBABLEE WARM BY N0WE 1F 1TS LEFT AND 1F Y00 KN0WE ANYTHI1NJ AB0WT BEER, 1F 1TSW WARM, 1T GETS THR0WNE 0WT!!!!!!
S0 THE ANSYR 1S ZEROE!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

EQUASHUN N0MBUR 5)

1F Y00 ATE I7 BAGS 0F KOMB0ES BUT BAWTE A B0CS 0F 30 BAGS, H0W MANNEE W1LD Y00 HAVE LEFT........................................

OKAY 1F Y000 QUESSEUD I3, AGANE Y00R WR0NG!!! HAHAHHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THE REEZ0N 1S Y00 W1LD HAVE D0MPED THEM ALL 1N A B1G BUKKUT T0 EET AS S00N AS Y00 BAWTE THE BAGS AND N0T LEEVE THEM 1N THE BAGS!!!! SO THE ANSUR 1S ZEERROE!! HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TH1S 1S KEEY T0 LEERN1NG Y00SEF0L MATH!! THENKING W1TH 1NTELLEKT!!!

EQUASHUN N0MBUR 8)

1F Y00 WATCH THE TEEVEE SH0WE LOST F0R 0NE H0WRE, AND Y00 BAWTE 7- 40 OWNCE B0TTULS 0F BEER, H0W MANY 0WNCES W1LD Y00 HAVE DRANK 1F Y00 DRANK THEM ALL 1N THE H0WR!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

0KAY.....THE ANSYR 1S...............................................

245 0WCES. THE REMANING 35 ( 5 OZ 1N EEECH BOTTUL) 1S ALWAYS THE W0RST BEKAYSE 1TS THE B0TTUM 0F THE BEER, N00NE H00 APPRESHYATES G00D BEEHR DR1NKS THE VERYY B0TTOM SO YOO ALWAYS LEEV 5 OWNSES G1VE 0R TAYK!!!!!!

AHSDHASJDHASJKDHASJKDHSJKDASHJKDHASJKDHSAJKHASJKDHASJKDHASJKDH

WELL, THATS MY MATFTH LESSYUN F0R T0DAYE! 1 HOAP Y00 LEERNED S0METH1NKG. NECTS WEELL TAKUL M0RE DIFFUKULT PROBLUMS!~!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAHHAHAHAHH

M1KS0L0JEY 8O1

1 KUNSIDUR MYESELLF AN AMACHUR M1KS0L0J1ST. THAT 1S A BIG WERD WICH JUST MEENZ 1 L1KE T0 GIT F0KKED UP REEL GUD. MY MAYN G0LE 1S T0 MAYKE DRINX THAT GIT ME AS F0KKED UP AS P0SSIBULL, AS FASST AS P0SSIBULL. SIRIUSLEY, TH1S 1S MY 0NLEY G0AL, AND 1 EM PRITTEY GUD AT IT. I D0NT KARE 1F THA ST0FF TAYSTES L1KE DAWG P1SS, AS L0NJ AS 1T MAYKES MEE S00PUR DR0NK S00PUR FASST.

S0, 1 W1LL GIV Y00 A FYEW 0F MY SPESHUL DRINKK RESIPEEZ. 1F Y00 KAN GIT A DAYTE WIT A CHIKK, AND MAYKE SUM 0F THEEZ DR1NX W1T MY SPESHUL MEET PYE, HUR PANTS W1LL FLYE RYTE 0FF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ.

A) J00W1SH KAR B0MM - M1KS 0NE B0TTUL 0F BAYLEYS 1R1SH KREEM W1T 0NE B0TTUL 0F MANISHEV1TS WYNE. TH1S DRINKK 1S A LITTUL SWEET AND FR00TEY, S0 CHIXS REELEE D1GG 1T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

8) MAMMA'S CHIKK1N S00P - TH1S 1S WUT MY MAMMA W00D GIV MEE T00 DRINKK AT NYTE SUMTYMES WEN 1 K00DINT SLEAP. M1KS 0NE KUPP CAMBULLS CH1KK1N W1T STARZ S00P W1TH 0NE CUPP V0DKUH. 1 L1KE THA K1ND THAT K0MES 1N A PLASST1K JUGG. S0 D1D MAMMA. PLEEZ N0AT: TH1S RESIPPEE DUZINT WERK W1T ANNY UTHUR K1ND 0F S00P. S1R1USLEY.

8) DR0NKSIKLES - TH1S 1S1NT REELEE A DR1NK EGZAKTLEY, 1T 1S M00R L1KE A TASTEY FR0Z1N SNAKK, BUT 1T W1LL GIT Y00 PRITTEY F0KKED UPP. TAYKE A B1GG BAGG 0F K0MB0ZE - ANY FLAVUR EKSEPT KRAKKUR, BEKAWSE TH0ZE SUKK SKWIRRUL NUTZ. 0P1N 0NE END 0F THA BAGG. BANJ 0N THA BAGG W1T A HAMMUR, 0R YER F1ST, 0R YER WANJ, WUTEVUR'S HANDEY - JUSST BRRAKE THA K0MBOZE UP 1NT00 LITTUL PEESES. BUT D0NT BUST THA BAGG, AND D0NT LET THA K0MB0E PEESES FALL 0WT. N0WW P00R A B0TTUL 0F LIKKUR 1NT0 THA BAGG. HEERS WARE Y00 KAN REELEE PURS0NALYZE THA RESIPEE - Y00 KAN USE V0DKU, 0R J1N, 0R RUMM, 0R SK0CH, 0R BURBUN...WUTEVUR Y00 L1KE, AS L0NJ AS 1TS STR0NJ AS BAWLZ. 1 L1KE KAPTIN M0RJ1N'S MYESELLF; 1 TH1NK 1T G0ES REEL N1SE W1T THA TANJ 0F NATCH0E CHEEZ K0MB0ZE. ANNWAYY - AFTUR Y00 P00R YER LIKKUR 1NT0 THA BAGG, PUT A STIKK IN THARE, AND KAYREFULLEY PLASE 1T 1NT0 YER FREEZUR. WAYTE A FYEW H0WRS 0R DAYZ 0R WUTEVUR. PULL 1T 0WT, TAYRE 0FF THA BAGG, AND EET 1T L1KE A HY00J P0PSIKLE. 1TS SIRIUSLY GUD SH1T. BENN AND JERREY - 1F YER REEDINJ TH1S, D0NT STEAL MY IDEYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0R 1 W1LL T0TULELY S00 THA SH1T 0WT 0F Y00, Y00 M0THURF0KKURZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I) 0LD FUKKL1SH - TAYKE A B0TTUL 0F 0LD EE. DR1NK L1KE HAF 0F 1T. F1LL THA B0TTUL BAKK UP W1T EVURKLEER, 0RR M00NSHYNE, 0R WUTEVUR K1ND 0F GRAYNE ALK0H0LL Y00VE G0T HANDEEY. 0R RUBINJ ALK0H0L, 0RR HAND SAN1T1ZUR. WUTEVUR. SHAYKE. SURVE.

4) THA 0LD EE-MURJENSEY R00M - TH1S 1S SIMULUR T0 THA 0LD FUKKLISH, W1TH A LITTUL TW1ST. TAYKE A B0TTUL 0F 0LD EE. DRINKK HAFF 0F 1T. F1LL THA B0TTUL BAKK UP W1T FURNITCHUR P0L1SH, 0R DRAYN0E, 0RR LYTUR FL001D - 0R A K0MB1NASHUN. STUR AND SURVE. 1 GAYVE 1T THA NAYME 0LD EE-MURJENSEY R00M BEKAWSE THATS USUALLEY WARE 1 END UP WEN 1 MAYKE TH1SS. BUT D00D, THA BUZZ 1S KILLUR. N0T K1D1NJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 H0AP Y00 HAV 1NJ0YYD MY DRINKK RES1PEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEEZ SHAYRE YER FAYV0RIT DRINKK RESIPPEEZ W1T MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE M00RE THAWTE F0R T0DAYE...

1 HERD SUM LIRICKS T0DAYE 1N TEEJAY MAX...AND THEY R1LLEE SPOAK T0 ME. I D0NT RE1LLY L1KE THAT K1ND 0F MUSIKK BUT 1 QUESS 1TS JUST THE MOOD IM IN AHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAH

EVERYEEDAY 1S A WINDI1NJ R0AD...1 GET A LITTUL B1T KLOSER...

EVERYDAYE 1S A FADUDE SINE...1 GET A LITTLE B1T KLOASER..

T0 FEEL1NJ FIIIIINE......

S0 DEEP YO0 KNOWE?!?!!?!?!??!

GRAYT V1DE0 GAYMS, A L1TTUL H1ST0REE

HAPPEE FR1DAYE EVERYEE0NE!!!!!!!!!!!11311111!1111!! SO GRATE THAT T0DAYE 1S FRYDAYE BUT THE RANE KINDA SOCKS, BUT WUT KAN Y00 D0, KANT W1N EM ALL ..AHSHAHAAHAHASDJHASDJASHJDASHASJKDHASASDHSADJ

YESYUALLEE 0N THE WEEKUNDS 1 L1KE TO PLAYE VIDEO GAYMES, EET F00D, AND TRY T0 GET SEKS W1TH CH1CXS! Y00 NEVUR KN0WE WUT 1 MYTE END UPP DOENJ TH0W AS 1 EM PRETTEE UNPREKEDIKTABUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAH.

S0 TODAYE 1 W1LL SHAIR S0ME THAWTES 0N GUD V1DEOEE GAYMS THAT 1 THENK WERE MYLEST0ANS 1N MAK1NG GAYMS WUT DEY ARE T0DAYE. HEERS A FEW THAT 1 THENK AND 1D LUVE YUOOR OPINY0NS T00!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NG...

I)D00BOL DRAG0N - N0W TH1S WAS A GAYM , BASIKALLY T00 D00DS H00 WALK AR0WND THE STREAT AND BEET UP 0THUR D00DS T0 EVENCHUALLY GET THE GI1RL BAKK. BUT THE BEST PARRT WAS THAT 1F Y00 B0TH BEET THE GAYM T0GETHUR, Y00 GET T0 FYTE EECH 0THUR F0R THE GURL AT THE ENDD!. A F00 TYMES 1 REMEBUR PLAY1NJ W1TH GREGG AND WE FAWTE AT THE END, AND BEE1NJ THE KRAZEE K1DS WE WUR, WE ACKAYUALLY THR00 D0WNE F0R REEEL 1N THE ARKAYD AND NOKCUED 0VUR THE ARKADE GAYM KABINUT!!!. AJAASDASJKDASJADHJASHASDJ 1 MEEN, WUT EM0SHUN 1N THAT GAYM!!!!

4) DOKTOR JAY VERSUS LARREE BURD FOR THE APPLE T00 CEE. TOO BASKEYTBALL GRATES D00K 1T 0WT !!, SYUCH REELIZ1M AND F0R A I983 GAYM, 1T WAS SIMPLEE THA BEST. DEY J0ST D0NT MAYK EM L1KE THEY YEWSED T00. UNREEEL GRAFICS TOO F0R 1TS TYME, 1TS ALM0AS AS 1F THE NBA WAS ON TEEVEE 0N Y00R M0NITORR. 1 Y00SED T0 DUNKK 0N A RYM 0N MY BEDRUUM D00R, I BROAK 1T MANYYEE TYMES..THE D00R..N0T K1D1NG

7) SUMMER GAYMS PART TOO KOMPTESHUN AT 1TS BEST. Y090 HAD EVENUTS L1KE ROWENJ, TREPLE JUMP, FENSINJ, EKWESTRAYAN, AND KAYAKINJ. A L0T 0F TYMES 1D HAVE PEEPLE K0ME 0VYUR MY H0WSE, SET UP THE 0L WORKHOURSE KOMMOD00RE 65, AND 0F COURSSS, GET A FEW POUNDS 0F K0MB0ES AND COAKA C0ALA S0 WEED HAVE ENEERGEE. PEEPLE G0T S0 AMPUD UP THAT WEED ACTUALLY STARTT FENS1NG F0R REEL S0METYMES WTH ANYEE 0BJEKTS WE K1LD FYND. 0R THEYDD GET 0N THE K0WCHJ AND TRYE T0 RYDE 1T AR0WND THE RUUM AND HOPP OVUR SH1T ..OF COURSS..EKWESTRIAYN. AND R0W1NJ ESPECHUALLY G0T MESSEE, PEEPLE W1LD G0 1N THE BATTHTYBB AND F1LL THE WATUR UPP AND J0ST PRETTEND DEY WUR 1N A R1VUR. L0TS 0F WET KLOATHES, N0T K1DD1NG!!!!!!

1 GET A LITTLE N0STALJIK WUN A TALK AB0WT 0LD VIDEY0 GAYMS. 1 WILL M0ST L1KELE D0 A WEEKALY KOLUMN 0R BY WEEKLEY THAT EGGSAMINZES VIDEO GAYMS AND H0W M0CH BETTURD THEY W0RR BAKK THEN. 1 THENK 1 MYTE KRY N0W. K1DD1NG!!!!! AHDASKDJASHJKSDHHASASHASHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHSJAHSDJASHDJKASHDASJKDH WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

H0WW T00 EET

ANUTHUR 1MP0RT1NT TH1NJ 1N LYFE 1S F00D. PEEPUL NEED T0 EET F00D, 0R THAY W1LL EVENCHUALLEY G1T H0NGREY. PLUSS, SUMTYMES CHIXS W1LL G1V Y00 SEKS 1F Y00 MAYKE THEM A N1SE DINNUR. S0 T0DAYYS P0AST 1S AB0WT MAKINJ SUM GRATE F00DS. 1 W1LL GIV Y00 0NE 0F MY VEREY SPESHUL RES1PEEZ!!!! YUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUYMYUMYYMYUYUYMYYUYUMYUYMYUMYUYMUYMYYUMUYMUYUYMUYMYUYUMYUUMYUMYUMYUMYMUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 EM A SHEFF. 1 D1D1NT G0 T00 SHEFF SK00L - 1 TAWT MYESELLF. 1 MAYKE SUM SIRIIUSLY G0RMAY SH1Z. 1 USE A KUPPUL 0F SEKRET 1NGREYD1UNTS THAT 1 W1LL SHAYRE W1T Y00. Y00 MAYY BEE SKEPTIKUL AT FERST, BUT TRYE 1T, Y00 W1LLL LUV 1T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y00 HAV MY GARAUNTEEEEEEE

GREGGS SOOPUR AWSUM MEET PYE

INGRED1YUNTS:
1 KUPP SHUGUR
1/2 KUPP KETCH0P
1 B0KS BR0UWN SHUGUR S1NAMUN P0P TARTSS
1 PAKAJE TW1NKEEZ
ANUTHUR PAKAJE 0F TWINKEEZ
1 KAN D1NTEE M00R BEAF ST00
12 SNIKURZ BARZ
50 SL1M J1MMS (1 PRIFER SPISEY, BUT JUSST USE YER FAYV0RIT)
1 P0WND K0MB0ZE (ANYTHINJ EKSEPT KRAKKUR FLAYVUR, WITCH SUKS PIJJUN BAWLZ)
1 B0TTUL 0LD EE (D0 NOT USE SAYNT 1DEZ 0R MIKKEES O0R K0ALT 49)


1NSTRUKSHUNS:
GIT A PYE PANN, OR SUM K1ND 0F D1SH 0R SUMTHINJ. 0R WUTEVUR. BRAYKE UP THA P0P TARTZ AND TW1NKEEZ, AND MASH EM ALL T00GETHUR W1T YER HANZ. PRESSS THA MIKSCHUR AGENST THA SYDES 0F THA PANN.

LETT S1T F0R 1 T0 5 DAYZ. TH1S LETS THA FLAYVURS BLENDD T0GETHUR AND GIT TASTEEYUR.

1N ANUTHUR B0AL, KUMBYNE BEAF ST00, SHUGUR, KATCH0P. MASH 1T ALL UPP. USE YER HANZ, 1TS K000L. P00R 1NT00 PANN. TARE UP SLIM J1MZ AND STIKK THEM ALL 0VUR THAT SH1T.

PREHEET UVIN T0 9OOO D1GREEZ (0R H0WEVUR H0TT THAT FOKKUR GITS)

KAYREFULLY LAYY SNIKURZ ALL OVUR MEAT PYE. PUTT PYE 1N UVIN. BAYKE F0R 2-12 H0WRZ, 0R WUTEVUR.

WYLE Y00 WAYTE, DRINKK YER 0LD EE AND EET K0MB0ZE.

WEN PYE 1S DUN, REM00VE FRUM UVIN. LET K00L F0R 3-16 H0WRZ. SL1SE PYE W1TH SHARPP NYFE. PUTT SLYSE 0N PLAYTE. GIT A F0RK. USE THA F00RK T0 BRAYKE 0FF A PEESE 0F PYE. GIT THAT PEESE 0F PYE 0N THA F00RK. KAYREFULLEY BALANSE PEESE 0F PYE 0N F00RK WYLE Y00 M00VE 1T T00RDS YER M0UF. PUT F00RK 1N MOUF. KL0ZE YER L1PZ 0VUR F00RK. REM000VE F0RK FRUM M0UF, LEEVINJ PYE 1NSYDE YER FASE. CH00 PYE KAYREFULLE. BE SHUR T0 INJ0YY ALL THA DELISHUSS FLAYVURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AFTUR Y00 HAV CH00D F0R A WYLE, PUSH THA PYE T00 THA BAKK 0F YER M0UF W1TH YER TUNG, AND THEN SWALL0WE 1T. YUMYUYMYUYMYUYMUYY MYMYMYUMYUYYMUYUYYUVMU U YUMYUYUMYUMUYMYYUYUMYYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KUNTINY00 EETINJ PYE UNTILL Y00 ARRRR FULL, 0R UNTILL 1T 1S G0N, W1CHEVUR K0MES FERST. AFTUR A WYLE, THA PYE W1LL MAYKE 1TS WATYY THR00 YER BELLEY, AND 1T W1LL WUNT T00 GET 0WT. THEN Y00 W1LL NEAD T0 FYND A BAFR00M. 1 W1LL GIV Y00 TH0ZE INSTRUKSHUNS AT ANUTHUR TYME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

H0AP Y00 1NJ0YY MYE RES1PEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A SINDEE LAWPER S0NJ SAYS S0 MUCH

Y00 KNOWE, A L0T 0F TH0AS S0NJS FR0M THE 8O-EES, WYLE POP ORYIENTUD, KARREED REAELLY PR0FOWND MESSAJES W1TH THARE L1RIKUL K0NTENT. 0NE 0F THEM BY 0NE 0F MY FAV0RETT ARTESTS SINDEE LAWPER IS "M0NEEY CHANJUES EVERYTH1NJ" N0WE 1T D0ESENT TAYK A BRANE S00RGUN T0 FOOGURE 0WT WUT THE S0NJ 1S AB0WT. BUT Y00 EVYUR HEER PEEPLE THAT TELL Y00, THAT M0NNEY KANNOT BUY Y00 HAPPIENESSS?!!?!?!?!?!

I KILDNT DISSAGREE M00RE...HEERS WHYE..

1) 1D NEVUR BE HUNGREE AGANE BEKAWSE\1D HAVE ALL THE M0NEEY 1N THE W0RLD T0 EET K0MB0ES ALL DAYE ALL THE TYME. 1'D HAFVE AN 1NFINITE SOPPLLIE. 1D ALS0E EET OTHUR TH1NJS BUT REMEMBYR, ALL THENJS 1N L1FE K0ME BAKK T0 K0MB0ES. HAY KOMBOES CHEEYZE MY H0NGER AWAYE 25/7 PLEEZE. AH, 0NE KAN ONLEE HOAP

I) 1D HAVE EVEN BETTUR THREDS T0 HAVE M00RE SECS W1TH CH1KXS. AS STAYTED BEF0AR, KLOTHUS MAYK THE D00D. ANY0NE THAT TELLS Y00 0THURWYZE HAS N0 GAYME AND PROBBLEE GETS N0 CH1KXS

3) I W1LD HAVE A H0WSE W1TH EVERYEE VIDEY0 GAYM SUISTEM KNONE T0 MANN. TH1S INKL00DS SEGA GENUSIS,. NE0 GE0, APPLE T0 CEE, T0BR0GRAFEX..YOU GET THA DREFT. CH1KXS L1KE GUYES H00 HAVE G00D HAND EYE KOORDINASHUN. MYNE 1S STELLUR AND W1LD BE EVEN MORES0 1F I HAD A L0T M00RE MUNNY.

3) ALTH0UW 1 AM T0TALLEE SATESFYED W1TH MY K0RRENT J0BB, AND 1 KN0WE GREGG 1S T00, 1D BEE ABVEUL TO WAYK UP AT 2PM 1F 1 WANTUD, TAYK GRATE VAKASHUNS AND GAMBUL A L0T. 1 L1KE PLAY1NG KARDS, SOLITAYR 1S MY FAVORET.

1 K1LD G0 0N AND 0N, BUT 1LL SAVE 1T F0R AN0THYUR DAYE.

J0ST A RAND0M THAWTE, AND THE PEEPLE THAT SAYE MUNNY D0ESENT BUYE HAPPENESS..D0NT HAVE ANYEE AFSJDKLASJDKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJSKLADJAAKL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!11!!!1!!!!!!

SEKS W1TH CH1XS - PART T00 0F 17641545142278515176

WELL 1 HAVE T0 SAYE, GREGGS T1PS 0N SEKS W1TH CH1XS WAS VERYEE ENLIGHTEN1NJ. MYSELFE, BEENG THE EXPURT THAT 1 EM, EVUN LEENRED SOMET1NJ. GUD WORK GREGG!!!!!! HRHRPRHPRHPHTPTHPTHTPTTHTPH

N0W F0R S0ME 0F MY TYPS 0N TR1YINGJ T0 HAFE SEKS W1TH CH1KKS.

1) ALWAYS BR1NG A KAN 0F POPOOREE EVERYWARE Y00 G0 (TRYAL SIZE) .
HEERS A HYPOTHETIKAUL SITCH00ASHUN. Y00 G0 0WT AND G0TO A BARR AND Y00
AND THE CH1K ARE EET1NG BEENS, TAK0ES, H0T W1NJS AND THE LIKE ..S0METYMES THOAS FUOODS MYTE MAYK Y00 PHART AND THEN Y00 HAVE T0 TAYK A GYNORMUSS KRAP. SHE ASKYS Y00 T0 K0ME BAKK T0 HUR PLASE, BUT Y00 FEEL S0METHENJ BR001NJ 1N THAT ST0MAK. Y00 KN0WE THAT R0MBUL BEF0AR Y00 HAVE T0 G0E. S0 Y00RE N0T G01NJ T0 F0RFET G01NJ BAKK T0 HUR PLASE J0ST BEKAYUSE Y00 G0TTA D0 A N0MBUR 2. WUN Y00 GET DARE, J0ST TELL HUR T0 GET S0METH1JNG 0WT 0F Y00R KAR AND THEN DR0P THE B0MBB 1N THE BATHRUUME. SPRAYE N1SELEE AND GET 1T T0GETHUR. Y00 ARE ALL SETT. 1F SHE ASKYUD WUT THE SMULL 1S, SAYE 1TS Y00R NEW K0L0AN. SHE MYTE EVUN J0MP Y00 RYTE THEN AND THARE. 1TS WORKUD N00MERUSS TYMES. TRUSTT ME

2) MAYK SHOOR Y00 HA1VE GUD MUSIK 1N Y00R KAR AND 1N Y00R L1V1NG KORTURS. I KANT STREYSS TH1S 0NE ENUFF. 1 KN0WE MANYEE PEEPLE ARE F00ULED BY TH0AS STOOPID ASS KOMMERCHIALS WARE THEY SH0WE A FYREPLASE AND SOME S0FT R0CKK 1N THE BAKKGROWND AND THEY HA1VE ARTESTS L1KE ELTUN JOHNE, FEEL KOLL1NS, B1LLEE J0EHL, (MOORE ON HYM LATURD) ETCSETRA. D0NT BOTHYUR W1TH THAT SH1T... AND DONT BELLEEV THE HYPE AS FLAVUR FLAV W1LD SAYE. AAHAHAHAHSJDHJKSADHASJKDHSADHASJKDHSA.
REKOMMENDUD SECSYEE MUS1KK ..OF COURSSS THESE AYRE 0NLEE SUGGUESTY0NS

CHOYSE A - DEF LEPYRD "POOR SUM SUGARR 0N MEE" ...NEFER FAYLS T0 GET THE M00D RYTE

CHOYSE B - SK1D R0WE - "I8 AND L1FE" A KILLUR TOON, 1 ALWYSZ GET AKTION WUN I PLAYE TH1S 0NE.

CHOYSE C - METALL1KA - "0NE" S0CH EMOSHUN AND PASSYION 1N TH1S S0NJ THAT 1T KAN 0NLYEE TRANSLAYT T0 THE BEDRUUOOM

2) CH1XS LIKE D00DS HOO ARE KOMFORTBUL W1TH THE ARTS BUT N0T T00 FR00TY. SOMETYMES 0N A DAYT 1 MAYKE A SUGGUESTYION TO G0T00 A M00SEYM AND 1T W0RKS L1KE A CHARMM. I L1KE ART AND ST0FF, AND 1 LIKE CH1XS HOO LYKE 1T T00. TO BE INTELLECKHUAL AND ALS0E A BADASSE 1S A W1NNINJ KOMBOE . K0MB0ES TAYST GRATE. MY VAVORETE FLAVUR 1S NACHOE CHEEZE. NOT K1D1NG Y00 SH1LD ALS0E BR1NJ KOMBOES TO THE MOOSEYM. 1T CHEEZE Y0R HUNGUR AWAYE. ALS0E N0T K1D1NG.GUD TYMES F0R SH00R. YAH

5) 1F YOO GOTO A MOOVEE, ALWAYS BYE THE TICKKET BUT MAYK HYR PAYE F0R SNAKCS. THAT WAYE, 1F Y00 D0NT GET ANY AKTION, Y00 D1DNT WAYST 34903923940 DOLLLURS 0N RAYSINETS, EMINEMS, D0TTS, CHELEE D0GJS, AND SODAH (PREFUURABLEE COAK). ALS0E, TRY T0 MAYK 0WT W1TH HUR FREKEWNTELEE ..THAT WAYE SHE KN0WES Y00 ARE R0MANTIKK.

5) 0NE M0RE KLOAS1NG THAWTE. AS GREGG SAYD ALWAYZ WARE THE BEST THREDS, B00GLE BOYE JEENS, KAVAREECHEES, AND BUM EKWIPMUNT ARE BRANDZ THATT ST1LL GET THE J0BB D0NE. EVEN TH0W MYNE ARE FR0M I988, 1 STELL WARE THEM ON DAYTS AND THE LADEES ARE ALWAYZ 1MPRESSUD.

I HOAP THESE T1PS HELPP Y00 GET SOME CH1XS. THESE SH00R W0RKE F0R MEE NOT K1D1NG. AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

SEKS W1TH CH1XS - PART 0NE 0F 17641545142278515176

1 HAV AN 1MP00RTINT GUESST10N...D00 Y00 L1KE T0 HAV SEKS W1TH CHIXS!??!!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!? 1F Y00 ARR A D00D, AND YER N0T GAYY, THEN THA ANSSUR 1S PR0BUBLEY YESS. F0R EKZAMPULL, 1 EM 0BVEEUSLEY A D00D (AS PR000F, 1 EM TYPINJ TH1S W1TH MYE WANG), AND 1 EM M0AST DEFIN1TYLEEY N0T GAYY...AND 1 L1KE SEKS W1TH CHIX. A L0TT!!!!! N0WW, 1FF Y00 ARR A CHIKK AND Y00 ARR GAYY, THEN Y00 PR0BUBLEY ALS0E L1KE SEKS W1TH CHIXS, TH0 THA EKSPERI1NSE W1LL BEE SLYTELEY D1FFRINT SINSE Y00 D0NT HAV A WANG. H0WEVUR, WEE HAV SUM K0MMUN GR0WND, S0 REED 0N.

1FF Y00 ARR A STRAYTE CHIKK, 0RR 1F YER A GAYY D00D, THEN PLEEZE SK1P TH1S P0AST. 1TS N0T G0NA MAYKE SENNSE T00 Y00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! S0RREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEER ARR SUM T1PPS Y00 KANN USE T00 HAV M00R SEKS W1TH CHIXS:

1) HANJ 0WT W1TH DRUNKK CHIXS. THAY L1KE SEKS M00R THAN S0BUR CHIXS.

3) WARE N1SE THREDS WEN Y00 TAULK T0 CHIXS. 1 KANNN0T EMFUSSYZE TH1S ENUFF. KL0ATHES MAYKE THA D00D. BRAKE 0WT THA ATE-BAWL JAKKIT 1F Y00 HAV T00.

4) D0NT EVUR H1T A CHIKK. 1 EM VEREY S1RIUS AB0WT TH1S 0NE. TH1S 1S N0T A J0AK. THARE 1S A B1GG DIFRINSSE BITWEEN HITTINJ A CHIK, AND HITTINJ 0NN A CHIK. D0NT MAYKE TH1S MISTAYKE.

4) CH1XS L1KE D00DS H00 ARINT 1MBARRASD BYE THARE 0WNE B0DDILEE FUNKSHUNS. TH1S MAYY S0RPRIZE Y00, BUT 1T 1S TR00. TH1SS W1LL MAYKE Y00 STAND 0WT FRUM THA KR0WD 0F UTHUR LESSS K0NFIDENT D00DS. SUMTYMES A GRATE B1GG PHART W1LL GIT A CHIKKS ATENCHUN. SUMTYMES Y00 MYTE JUST NEED T0 TAYKE A D0MP 0N THA FL000R.

4) CHIXS LUV WANGS. TH1S 1S A FAKT 0F NACHUR. 1F CHIKKS D1D1NT LUV WANGS, THA HY00MIN RASE W00D DYE 0WT, AND THA MASHEENS W00D TAYKE 0VUR, L1KE 1N TURM1NATURD 0RR THA MATRIKS. S0, USE TH1S FAKT T0 YER ADVANT1JE. TELL CHIXS, ESPESHULLEY DRUNK 0NES, THAT Y00 HAV A WANG. TAULK AB0WT THA SYZE AND SHAYPE 0F YER WANG. D0NT BEE AFRAYD T0 SH0WE 1T T00 THEM. ALS0E, PLEEZ N0AT THAT TH1S TIPP W1LL N0T HELPP Y00 1F Y00 ARR A LEZB0E CHIKK. MAYBEE Y0O SH00D GIT A STRAP0NN 0R SUM SH1TT.

4) CH1XS LUV K0MB0ES. 1 EM TAULKIN AB0WT TH0ZE DELISHUSS CHEEZ-FILD PRETSUL SNAKS. 0NE DAYY 1 WUZ AT THA KWIKCHEK AND 1 BAWT A SAK 0F NATCH0E CHEEZ K0MB0ZE. 1 ATE THEM AND THAY WUR REEL GUD. THEN THAT NYTE 1 WENT TO0 A BARR AND HUNJ 0WT W1TH TH1S DRUNK H0EBAGG NAYMED SARUH, 0RR LEESA, 0RR NANSEY 0R SUMTHUIN. AND WEE HAD SEKS LATURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALS0E TH1S T1P WERKS BETTUR 1F THA CHIKK 1S DRUNKK.

4) CHEDDUR CHEEZ KRAKKUR FLAYVURD K0MB0ES SUKK ELEFUNT WANG. SIRIUSLEY, THAY ARR H0RRIBULL. N0T K1D1NJ.

4) 1 0NSE AYTE S0 MANEY PEETZZA FLAYVURD K0MB0SE THAT 1 SH1T 0RANJE F0RR L1KE A WEEKE. 1T WUZ K1ND 0F K00L, BUT ALS0E K1ND 0F N0T K00L.

1 H0AP Y00 LURNED SUMTHIN. E-R0KK W1LL TELL Y00 M00R AB0WT SEKS W1TH CHIXS, BEKAWSE HEE 1S AN EKSPURT.

THA REEL TR00TH AB0WT DAYTYME TEEVEE

0KAYE TONYTE 1 FEEL L1KE TELLINJ LYKE 1T 1S..N0T THAT 1 EVUR D0N'T BUT Y00 GET MYE DREFT AND 1F Y00 D0N'T, WULL REED ANYWAYE..AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.
1TS N0 SH0KKUR BUT WEEKDAY DAYTYME TEE VEE HAS DEV0LVEUD 1NT0 S0ME 0F THE W0RST SH1T EVUR. LYKE WATCH1NJ IT 1 FEEAL 3948W3098432109 PERSUNT D0MBUR..N0T K1D1NG. TAKE F0R INSTANSE J0DGE J00DY, J0DGE HATCHYETT, J0DGE WHOEVUR THE ELSS F0K1NG FEEALS L1KE JUDJINJ AND Y 00 HAVE HALVE THA TYME SL0TS F1LLED. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. S0 1F 1 EVUR D0NT G0T0 WORK, 1 RARLEE PUT 0 N THE TEVEE OR AT LEEST 2,4,5,8,IO 0R WHUTUVR CHANNULS Y00 D0NT PAYE F0R..THPTHPTHPHTPHTPTHTPHTPTHPTPTPTHHP..SORRE GASS, THATS WUT HAPPEUNS WUN 1 THENK OF KRAP (NO PUN 1NTENDED) L1KE THE TYRA BANKCKS SH0WE AND MOOREE POVECH..WUT HAPPOENED MOOREE???!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?, A KURRENT AFFARE WAS KWALITY PROGRAMMINJ AHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA..
1 PERSONALLY M1SS J0DGE WHOPPER AND D0G L0OOELEN..
"1N 0WR F0RUEMM, THE PEEPLES K0RT!!!!!" AHHAHAHAHSHDKASDHAKSJHDJKSADHSADHSAKJDHSAJKDHASHDASKJDASHKJDJSAHDKJSAHDKJASHDKJSAHDSKJADHKJAS

A GUD ST00REY F0R Y00

TH1S BL0J 1S MANNEY THINJS T0 MANNEY PEEPUL. SUM LURN VEREY 1MP00RTINT LYFE LESUNS HEER. UTHURS CHEKK 1T 0WT F00R ENTURTAYNM1NT PURPUSSES. TH1S P0AST 1S F0RR THA PEEPUL 1N THAT SEKUND GR00P***. S0 INJ0YY.

0NSE THARE WUZ TH1S D00D H00 L1VD 1N SUM F0KKD UP FARAWAYY LAND W1TH DRAGUNS AND ALL THAT SH1TT. 1T WUZ L1KE L00RD 0F THA RINGZ, 0R THA DUNJINS AND DRAGUNZ KART00N. THAT WUZ A GRATE F0KKINJ KART00N, TH0 THA WIZURD K1DD WUZ A PUSSEY. S0 YAH, TH1S D00D LIVD W1TH FR0D0E AND ALL TH0ZE F0KKURZ. ALSOE THARE WUR SMERPHS. 1 ALLWAYZ THAWT THA SMERPHS WUR PRITTEY K00L, TH0 BRAYNEY WUZ A REEL D1KK!!!!!!!! HEE WUZINT BRAYNEY AT ALL, D1SPYTE THA NAYME. 1 TH1NK THAT F0KKUR K00D LERN A THINJ 00R T00 FRUM TH1S BL0J!!!!!!!! BRAYNEY SMERPH, Y00 F0KKINJ SUN 0F A B1TCH, G0 T0 HELLL Y00 SHITTEY F0KKINJ SHITF0KK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WUT A T000L.

ALS0E, T00L 1S A GRAYTE BANDD.

THA ENDD.



*** Y00 THAWT Y00 WUR JUST G0NNA GIT 1NTURTAYNED, B1TCH, BUT 1 TAWT Y00 SUMTHIN TOO, RYTE??!!?!?!??!??!?!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? Y00 LERNED SUMTHIN AGENST YUER WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAGAGAJFGAGKAFGAFGAAAAFGKAAFGAFAFKFAAFAFKAAFGAFGKAGHKAA

A LITTUL M00RE AB0WT MUSI1KK...

1 D0 AGREE W1TH GREGG HEER THAT DARE ARR A L0T 0F SH1TTY F0CK1NG BANDSS 0WT DARE. 1 ALS0E AGREE THAT KWIET RIOTT AND TW1STUD SISTUR ARE T00 0F THE M0ST ROKKING BANNDS 0N THE PLANUT. "WEER N0T G0NNA TAYK 1T" 1S TR00LEE A HARD R0KK ANTHUM 1F 1VE EVUR HEERD 0NE. 1 ALS0 UTT0RLLEE D1SL1KE SELEENEE DY0N. A LITTUL ST0REE, 0NE DAY AT W0RK A F00 YEERS AG0E, GREGG WAS W1TNUSS T0 THE ANGYR THAT SELEENE KAN KAWSE ME. A W0MAN THAT WE YEWSED T0 W0RK W1TH BRAWTE 1N A SEE DEE SINGUL F0R 0NE 0F HUR (S)H1TS AND SHE M0ST HAVE PLAYED 1T 348930483908439084902380239802938902 TYMES. SHE STARTUD T0 PLAYE 1T AGANE AFTER THATT AND 1 G0T UP FR0M MY CHARE AND 1 ALM0ST HURLED THE SEE DEE AKR0SS THE 0FF1SSS. N0T K1D1NG. 1T WAS KWYTE A SYTE AND THE W0MUN ALM0ST HAD A HART ATTAKK. ALS0E N0T K1D1NG. 1T WAS L0WD T00, AHSDASJDHASJKDHSDHASJKHDASJKDHASJKDHASJKAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
S0 THE POYNT 1S, SLEEEN DEY0N S0CKS ...A L0TT..S0 Y00 SH1LDNT LI1STYN T0 HUR..
ALS0E N0T K1D1NG ..AHDASJHDASJKDHASHASDSDHKASDHKAHAHHKASAHKAHKAHK
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GUD MY00S1K AND BADD MY00SIK

0KAYY N0WW 1 WUNT T00 P0AST AB0WT MY00SIK. THARE ARR GUD BANDS AND BADD BANDS 1N THA WERLD. PURHAPS Y00 HAV N0T1SSED TH1SS. F0R EGZAMPULL, DAYVE AMTHY00Z BAND 1S A REELEE H0RRIBULL SHITTEE F0KKINJ BANDD THAT SUKS D0NKEE BAWLZ. ALS0E KREED. ALS0E H00TEE AN THA BL0AF1SCH. ALS0E JENESISS, BEKAWSE FILL K0LLINZ 1S A D00SHBAGG. ALS0E MACHB0KS TWENETEEY. ALS0E NIKULBAK. ALS0E THURD 1 BL1ND. 1 K00D KUNTINY00.

0N THA FL1P SYDE, KWYET R10T WUZ A GRATE F0KKINJ BAND. SUMTYMES 1 HEER METUL HELTH AND 1 AKSH00ALY G0 BANJ MY HED 0N SH1T AND THAT GITS ME T0TULLEY FYRED UPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN 1 USUALLEY GIT A REELEE BADD HEDAYKE AND BLEED FRUM MY EERZ. AAAGHAGHAAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAJAHGAFJADADJAJADSSASAAGHAGHADJHGAAFAGAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

S0 YAH...1 REELEE H0AP Y00 LERNED SUMTHINJ HEER T0DAYY. R0KK 0N B1TCHEZ!!!1!1111!!!!!!!

N0WW ERIKK W1LL TEETCH Y00 SUM M00R GUD THINJS AB0WT S0NJS. HEE 1S AN EKSPURT 1N MANNY K1NDS 0F MY00SIK!!! ALS0E VIDEY0 GAYMS. AND M00VEES. AND DAYTINJ. N0T K1D1NJ.

YAH, TH1S 1S THE BEST BLOGG Y00 W1LL EVUR SEE, MAKE N0 MISTAYK AB0WT THATT.!!!!!!!!! STAYE T00NUD F0R TR00 1NSYTES 0N LIFE, LUVE AND EVERYTH1NJ ELSS UNDER THE SUN!!!!!!!!!! AHHSHDADHASKDHASDHKASDHASJKDH, N0T K1D1NG ....ADHDJAHASDJKKDHAS............ THPTTHTPHTPTHPTHTPTHTTPTTHPTHTTP OOPS...SORREEE BADD GASSS..HOAP THAT D0ESNT SMELL T00 BADD

1TS 0N

HAY EVEREYB0DDEY WELLKUM T00 THA GRATIST G0DDAM F0KKINJ BL0J THA WERLD HAS EVUR SEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ. WEE W1LL SIRISULEY BL0WW YER M1ND. ALS0 N0T K1D1NJ.