THANKSGE1VENJ

D000DS AND D000DUTTES ..HAPPEE THANKSG1VEN1G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELL T0DAY 1S THE DAY BEF0RE..BUT WHATEVURD, Y00 GET MY DREFT!!!!!!! GHAHAHAHAAAHASJDHASJKDHASJKDHASJK.
1'D L1KE T0 HEER EVERY0NES IDEYAS 0N WUT THEY D0E F0R TOORKEY DAYE. I PERSONALLEE L0VE T0RKEY HAHAHAHHAHHA. AND F0R PEEPLE THAT ARE 0F HALF POLESH DESEUNT..K1LLBASEY 1S VERY B1G T00.....AND Y00 KN0W WUT?!?!!?!?! S0 1S MYNE!!!!!!!!1 HAHAHAAHHAHAHAA YAH, ANY CH1CKS REED1NJ, PLLESE TAKE THAT 1NT0E K0NSIDERASHUN.
S0 0NE 0F MY TRADESHUNS 0N THANKSG1VENJ DAYE 1S THE PARAYD! THE FL0HTS 1 FYND T0 BE PRETTY KOOUL, AND Y00 GET T0 MEET A L0T 0F CH1KSS T00!!!!!!!!!1 AHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH, 1 YESHUALLYEE G0T0 THE MASEES DAYE PARYADE. Y00 KN0WE,1TS GRATE KAWSE, DARE ARE A L0T 0F CH1KS DARE AND 1TS VERYYEE KROWDUED, SO 1 KAN SKWEEZE A L0T 0F GURLS BUTTS AND GET AWAYE W1TH 1T!!! SK0RE!! HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAAHAHAHAHA
AFTER THE PARAYD, 1 YESHUAYLLE H1T THE LOKALE DELEE AND GET 2 4OEES AND DRENK UP!!!! THEN G0 BUYE A T0RKEY..0NE TYNME 1 WAS S0 DRUNKK 1 TRYED T0 EET 1T FR0ZEUN AND 1 F0KKED UP MY TEEF VERY BADDLEE..1TS WHYE 1 HAVE A FE00 GOLD KAPPS HAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA
T0 ME THE HOLIDAYES ARE AB0WT GETT1NJ FOKKUD UP, EET1NJ A L0T, AND HAVENJ LOTS OF SECS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAST YEER 1 MAYD WUT 1 KALLUD KOMBOE PYE..WARE 1 TOOK A BUNCH 0F KOMB0ES..MASHUD THEM UP P AND MAYD L1KE TH1S PUMPKEN FELLINJ..( 1 KAN COOK ..I HOAP Y00 REELIZE TH1SS!!)..1 PEECTHED THE 1DEYA T0 THE KOMBOEES PEEPLE. PUMPIKIN PYE FLAVOYUERD KOMBOES..BUT 1 NEFER G0T A KALLBACK!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA 0H WELL.Y00 W1N SUM Y00 LOOZE SUME!!! WELL ENJOYE EVERY0NE AND HOAPFULLYEE Y00 GET REALLEE DR0NK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GREGG, WUT D0 Y00 L1KE T0 D0 0N T00RKEY DAYE!??!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?

MY VAKASHUN (NOT A "PERMANUNT VAKASHUN" ONE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH)

HAY D00DS AND D00DEYUTTES 1M BAKK FROM A VAKASHUN IN JURMANEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1T WAS S00 GRATE, THE BEEURS WUR B1G, THE GURLS WUR SMOKENHJ, AND DARE WAS A L0T 0F INTELLETCHUAL SH1T THAT 1 SAW. AHHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!11 1 AM 0NE KULCHURED MOTHERFUKKGER BUT Y00 ALL NOO THATT.

S0 1 MAYD S0ME 0BSERVASHUINS WYLE DARE..AT 0NE POYNT 1 DRANK L1KE 349829041238 BEEURS AND 1 REEELLEE WANTUD S0ME K0MB0ES. 1 WENT TO L1KE 25 ST00RES AND N0 DISE AND 1 ONLY SPEEK A L1TTLE JURMAN, (WURDS L1KE SH1SSKOPF W1CH MEENS SH1THED OR 1CH HABE ENE GR0USSE WEENUR ..WH1CH MEENS 1 HAVE A B1G WEENUR AHHAHAHAHAH! 1 Y00SED THAT UNE A L0TT AND 1 ENDED UP HAV1NG S0ME GOOD SECKSS !!!!!!!!1 JURMAN GURLS R00L,..YAH) SO N00NE HAD KOMBOES, 1 SEERCHED HIJGH AND LOWE FOR THAT SH11T BUT N0 D1SE!!!!!!!!!! S0 1 BAWTE S0ME PREZULS AND CHOPPUD THEM UPP 1N MY H0TUL R00M AND BAWTE S0ME CHEESE T00 AND MAYD MY OWNE. LET ME TELL Y00 TH1S EVERY0NE, WUN Y00 KANT F1ND WUT YOU NEED, YOU MAYK 1T!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N0W D0NT G0 STEEL1NG MY 1DEYAS, 1M ALREDY 1N TALKS W1TH KOMBOE MAKURS T0 SEE 12F 1 KAN PETCH SOME NOO FLAVORS..1F Y00 STEEL THEM 1 WILL FIND Y00 AND BEET Y00R ASS..NOT K1DD1NG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEESE 1NKL00D

BRATW00RST KOMBOES (THEEY L1UUK L1KE A BRATWURST..LONJ L1KE MY WANJ, BYT ARE FLAHVURED WTH WURST AND ST0FF..A FUUT LONG KOMBOE)
0LD E KOMB0ES (GET YO00 F0KKED UP AND A G00D SNAKKK!!!!!!!!!)
APPELSTOOORDUL KOMB0ES ( A GRATE DEZERUT IDEYA)
SAWUJSAJE AND EGGG FLAV0R KOMBOES..A HELTHY TASTEE BREKFAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OKT0BURFEST KOMBOES ( A KOMBOE 0F BEEUR, SAWUSAJE, S0WERKRAUT, H0T D0GJS AND BRATTW0RST R00ULLED UPP 1NT0 0NE GRATE MEEL/SNAKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

S0 YAH, MY TREP PROOVUED TO BE EYE OPENINJ ..G0T N00 BIZNUSS UIDEYAS..M0RE M0NEE F0R ME POTENSHULLY WH1CH EKWALS M00RE SECKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GREGG WUT D0 Y00 THENK 0F MY N00 KOMB0E IDEYUAS!??!?!??!!?

DR0PP1N RYMES

HAY WUT UP S00PURBL0J FANZ. AS Y00 KN0WE 1 EM A VEREY KREATIV MUTHURF0KKUR. SUMTYMES 1TS L1KE 1 HAV KREATIV J00SES JUST BURSTINJ 0WT 0F MEE. 1TS L1KE WEN E-ROKK DRINXS T00 MUTCH AND EETS WAYY T00 MANEY K0MB0ZE - THAT SH1T BURSSTS 0WT 0F H1M W1TH GRATE SPEAD, AND HE KANN0T K0NTROLE 1T AT ALL. 1T 1S K1NDA GR0SSE, H0NN1STLEY.

S0 T0DAYY 1 W1LL RELEESE SUM KREATIV J00SES BY SHARINJ SUM 0F MY SPESHUL P0ETREY W1T Y00. TH1S 1S SUM SIRIUSLEY GUD ST0FF, JUST AS GUD AS THAT F0KKUR SHAYKESPEERE 0R WUTEVUR. BETTUR, EVIN.

TURMINAYTUR B1TCH HAYTES JURNEY BY GREGG

HAY BABEY, Y00 MUST GIT 1NT00 MY KAR
1 PR0M1SS 1 W1LL TREET Y00 L1KE A STARR

1'M LUKIN AT Y00, W0W Y00 ARR SEKSEY
0NE LUK AT YER ASS JUST T0TULLEY REX MEE

1 KN0WE H0W T0 TREET A LADEY RYTE, Y0
S0 N0WW 1'LL PLAYY JURNEY 0N MYE RADEEY0

WUT D00 Y00 MEEN!?!? STEEV PEREY AYNT K0RNEY!!1!11!
TH1S MY00SIK WILL MAYKE Y00 T0TULLEY H0RNEEY!!!1!!

H0LEY SH1T, B1TCH, Y00 MUST HAV N0 HART
T0 HAV N0 REYAKSHUN T0 SEPURUT WAYZ /WERLDS APART

0 MY G0DD, 1 KAN SEE 1T, THARES 0NLEY 0NE ANSSUR
Y00 MUSST BE SUM K1ND 0F FREEKISH D1ZASTUR

A M0NSTURD, A BEEST, A R0B0TIK MASHEEN
THA SEKS1EST TURMINATURD 1VE EVUR SEEN

N0WW 1 MUST D00 WUT 1 KN0W T00 BEE RYTE
AND PHART AT Y00 W1T EVERY 0WNSE 0F MY MYTE

THA STENTCH FRUM MY ASS W1LL MAYKE YER METUL PARTS RUSST
AND THA H0T STINKEEY W1ND W1LL TERN Y00 T00 DUSST

AND S0 FRUM MY BUTT A P0WURFULL PHART BL0WZ
N0W 1 W1LL SELLEBRAYTE MY VIKTUREY W1T A BAGG 0F K0MB0ZE.



THA END...0RR 1S 1T?!?!?!?!?!?! AAJAHAAJFGAFAKAFAAFAHDFAJAHGAAFGDAARKAKAHAHHGADAJAAAJAHAADFDAKDJADADGADGDAJSDJADJASDGADSDASDADSADASDFGADSRAA3A3A23QA3WAISASDAGHFSDFASCIXSXSCASD8ZS8ZEW9QDFWZWGUWSJDWDNSCETCFE5FX8QDX8QFXDSASASA57SAAS4DDATAAXXXDZDADFGDFGASDFGASDFGSADFGSDFAS

ON THA R0DE W1T GREGG: PART D 0F 2 - SUM REELEE GRATE TYMES

HAY D00DS 1 EM BAKK W1TH THA FINULL 1NSTALM1NT 0F MY 0NG01NJ SEREEZ, 0N THA R0DE W1T GREGG. TH1S WEEKE 1 EM G0NNA TELL Y00 AB0WT THA GRATE TYMES 1 HAD 0N MY VAKASHUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. S0 HEER WEE G0E.

1 H1T THA R0DE 0NE SUNNEY AFFURN00N 1N MY AWSUM H0NDUH, K0MB0ZE 1N HAND, J1MMEE HATS AT THA REDDY. 1 G0T 0N THA HYWAYY, OP1NED UP MY SUNREWF (WICH 1S REEEE JUST A H0AL 1 MA1D IN THE T0P 0F THA KARR W1TH A HAKSAWW, WICH 1S K00L 0N N1SE DAYZ BUT SHITTEE WEN 1T RAYNZ) AND 1 PUT 0N SUM T00NZ. 1 HAV A SPESHUL MIKS SEEDEE 1 MAYDE F0R R0DE TR1PZ. HEER 1S JUST A SAMPLINJ 0F SUM S0NJS THAT ARR 0N 1T:

G1T 0WTU MY DREEMZ GIT 1NT00 MY KARR - BILLEE 0SHUN
FLY L1KE AN EEGUL - STEEV MILUR BAND
SLIK BLAK KADILLAK - KWIET RY0T
1 KANT DRYVE FIFTEEEFYVE - SAMMEE HAGGAR
THA MYAMEE VYSE THEEM
THA AYREWULF THEEM
THE NYTE RYDUR THEEM
THA A-TEEM THEEM

S0 Y00 KAN SEE THAT AFTUR JUSST A FYEW S0NJS 1 EM PRITTEY F0KKIN AMPD AND REDDY F0R A GUD TYME.

1 G0T 0FF THE HYWAYY AND HEDD1D 0VUR T00 MY GUD FREND SH1TFASE'S H0WSE. "SH1TFASE' 1S1NT SH1TFASES REEL NAYME; 1 TH1NK 1TS T0M 0R JEFF 0R RAJEEV 0R SUMTHIN. 1 MEEN, Y00 SH00D KN0WE THAT SHITFASE'S PARINTS DIDINT AKSH00ALEY NAYME H1M THAT. SH1TFASE 1S ALM0AST ALLWAYZ K0MPLEETLEY DR0NK 0FF H1S ASSS. 1 EM N0T SHUR 1 HAV EVUR SEEN H1M S0BUR. TH1S 0NE TYME WE KAWT H1M TAYKINJ A D0MP 1N HIS NAYBUR'S YARD - WEN WE START1D LAFFIN 1 QUESS WE SKAYRED H1M AND HE J0MPED UPP 1N THA AYRE AND THEN FELL 0VUR, LANDINJ FASE FURST 1N H1S 0WN P00P. AND S0 A LEJUND WUZ B00RN.

1 RANJ SH1TFASES D00RBELL BUT L1KE USUALL HEE WUZ T00 F0KKED UPP T0 0P1N THA D00R, S0 1 LET MYSELLF 1N. SH1TFASE WUZ PASSD 0WT 0N THA FL00R 1N FRUNT 0F H1S TEEVEE, WICH WUZ 0N ANIMUL PLANIT. SHITFASE ALLWAYZ WACHED ANIMUL PLANIT. HEE HAD A B1GG GLASS 0F AN 0YLEEY BR0UWN LIKWID NEKST T00 H1M. 1 QUESSD TH1S WUZ H1S SPESHUL K0KKTAYL, WICH HE KALLD SH1TSTAYNE. 1 D0NT KN0WE EGGZAKTLEY WUTS 1N A SH1TSTAYNE - 1T 1S A SEKRET RESIPEE - BUT 1 BELEEVE THEEZ ARR SUM 0F THA KEE 1NGREEDEEYENTS: ARR SEE K0LA, W00STURSHUR SAWSE, TABASK0E, T1KEELA, RUBBINJ ALK0H0L, LEMUN PLEDJE, SH00 P0LLISH, LYS0LL D1SINFEKTUNT, T0YLIT KLEENUR, ANTEEFREEZ, DRAYN0E, 0KSEE-KLEEN, G00-G0N, AND A LITTUL ANJUL DUST AND ELL ESS DEE. BUT JUST A LITTUL. ANNYWAYY, SINSE 1 WUZ PRITTEY SHUR 1T WUZ A GLASS 0F SHITSTAYNE AND N0T SUMTHIN DANJERUSS, 1 DRANKK THA H0AL THINJ. W1TH1N SEKUNDS, THA H0AL R00M START1D SPINNINJ. THA ANIMULZ SEEMD L1KE THAY WUR K0M1NJ 0WTTA THA TEEVEE!!!!!!!!! THARE WUR G0RILLAZ AND DAWGS EVERYWARE!!!!!!!!! 1T WUZ T0TULLEY KRAZEY. N0T K1D1NJ. !!!!!!!!!. NEKST THINJ 1 RIMEMBUR, THA FL00R KAYME UP AND SMAKKD MEE 1N THA FASE, AND EVERYTHINJ WENT BLAKK.

1 HAV N0 IDEYA WUT HAPPIND 0VUR THA NEKST FYVE DAYZ, BUT 1 EM QUESSINJ 1 HAD A L0T 0F FUNN 0VUR AT SH1TFASES PLASE. BUT L1KE ALL GUD THINJS, 1T KAME T0 AN END, AND S0 MY VAKASHUN WUZ 0VUR. 1 WENT BAKK T0 MY NYNE J0BBS THA NEKST DAYY. 0NLEY ANUTHUR YEER UNTILL MY NEKST AWSUM VAKASHUN!!!!!!!!!##!#!##$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 KANT WAYTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 H0AP Y00 W1LL K0ME W1TH MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. !!!!.

TH1S WEEKE'S S0NJ ANALESIS- ARROWSMETH

OKAY DOODS AND D00DETTES, TODAYE 1 WANT TO TAULK AB0WT A SONJ BY 0NE 0F MY FAVORETT BANDS..ARROWSMITH!!!! AHHAAHAHAHA. N0WE 1F Y00 KNOWE MUISSIK, Y00 KNOWE THAT THEY HAD A L0T 0F GRATE H1TS SYUCH AS "WALKE TH1SS WAYE", "ANJUL", "RAGJ DOLLE", "KRYEIN" AND A B0NCH 0F 0THURS. 0NE 0F MY VAVOREET S0NJS HAS T0 BE "LUV 1N AN ELEVATURD" ..CHEKK 0WT THEESE L1RIKS........GREGG LUVES THEM T00 S0 1M SH00RE HEELL HA1VE GUD 1NPUT!!!!!!!

WORKIN L1KE A D0GH F0R THE B0SS MANN
W0RK1N F0R THE KOMPANEE
I'M BETT1N 0N THE D1SE 1M T0SS1N
1M GONNA HA1VE A FANTASEEE

S0 WUT ST1EV TYLOER 1S SINJING AB0WT HEER 1S S0ME0NE EVERY0NE KAN RELAYT T00, Y00 W0RK DAYE AND AND DAYE 0WT F0R THE MANN BUT Y00 GET N0 RESPEKKT!!!


BUT WARE AM 1 GUNNA LUKK
THEY TELLE ME THAT LUV 1S BL11ND
1 REALLEY NEED A GURL L1KE AN OPEN BUUK
T0 REED BETWEENE THE LYNES

OKAY M00RE JEENYUSS..LOVE 1S BLIN1D AND GURLS L1KE OPEN B00KS BECKAYSE M0ST CH1KKS L1KE T0 REED. 1F Y00 REED A L0TT Y00 WILL HAVE A L0T 0F C0NVERSEASHUNS W1TH CH1KKS W1CH LEE1D T0 SECKS!!!!!


LUVE 1N EN ELAVTORD
L1V1N 1T UP WUN 1M G0EN D0WNE
LUVE 1N EN ELAVTORD
LUVI1N 1T UP T1LL 1 H1T THE GR0WND


1 KINDA HOAP WE GET STUKK
N00B0DEE GETS 0WT AL1EV
SHE SAYD' 1LL SH0WE Y00 H0W T0 FACS
1N THE MALERUUM H0NEE
AND HAVE Y00 H0AM BY FI1VE

STEE1VE WARE KAN 1 MEET TH1S CH1K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


1N THA A1RE, 1N THA AIRE H0NEE 0NE MORE TYME
N0W 1T AYNT FARE
LUVE 1N AN ELEAVTURD
LOV1N 1T UP WUN 1M G0EN D0WNE

LUVE 1N AN ELEVATURD
GOEEEEEEEEN DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SEE N0WE THE LAST LYNE 1S LOV1N 1T UP 1NSTED 0F L1VI1N 1T UPP THATS RELL1LY FOKKING POORE POETREE RYTE DARE..1F Y00 D0NT AGREE THEN WEE'LL HAVE A REEL PROBLUM NOT K1D1NG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GONNA BE A PENTHAUS PAWPER
G0NNA BE A MEELIONARE
1M G0NNA BE A REEL FAST TALKEURD
AND HAVE ME A LUVE AFFARE

G0TTA GET MY TIMIN RYTE
1TS A TEST THATT 1 G0TTA PASS
1LL CHASE Y00 ALL THE WAYE T0 THE STAREWAY HUNNEY
K1SS Y000R SASSFRASSS

OKAYE THE ABS0LOOT BESTT PART 0F THE S0NJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 1TS AB0WT G0EN AFTUR WUT Y00 WANT AND WANT1NJ T0 BE REECH AND BANJ L0TS 0F CH1KKS..WH1CH 0F COURSS 1S THE AMERIKAN DREEM 1F 1 EVUR HEERD 0NE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0N THA R0DE W1TH GREGG (PART 8 0F 4 - GITTIN REDDY F0R THA R0DE)

HAY EVEREYB0DDEEY 1 EM BAK W1TH ANUTHUR 1NSTALLMINT 0F MY 0NG01NJ SEREEZ, 0N THA R0DE W1TH GREGG. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. TH1S TYME 1 W1LL TELL Y00 AB0WT H0WW 1 PREPAYRED F0R MY VAYKAYSHUN. 1TS N0T AS EEZEY AS Y00 MYTE TH1NKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THA WEEKE BEF00R MY VAYKAYSHUN, 1 TUK A FYEW DAYZ 0FF FRUM AB0WT NYNE 0F MY J0BZ - DELLEE K0WNTUR AT THA S00PURMARKIT, BANK SEKURITEY GARD, PEETSA DELIVUREY D00D, D0G WAULKUR, H0WSE PAYNTUR, AND A KUPPUL 0F UTHURS. 1 D1D TH1S S0 1 W00D HAV SUM EKSTRA TYME T00 GIT REDDY F0R MY B1G WEEKE 0FF!!!! 1 KEPT WERKINJ AT THA B0RGUR K1NJ, BEKAWSE, Y00 KN0WE, 1 NEEDID T0 EET. 1 ALS0E HAV TH1S G1GG AS A TESST SUBJEKT F0R N00 DR0GZ, AND THARE WUZ N0 WAYY 1 WUZ SKIPPINJ 0WT 0N THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAGAHGAHAAGHAGAGHAGHGAHAH. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. TH0 S0 FARR THAY HAVINT BIN VEREY GUD DR0GZ. 0NE 0F THEM MAYDE MY LEFFT NUTT GIT REEL B1GG, SO THATS K1NDA K00L. 1 SH0WD TH1S GERL, AND SHEE THAWT 1T WUZ K00L...SHE SED IT LUKED L1KE MY RYTE NUT WUZ 0RB1T1NJ MY LEFFT NUT L1KE THA M00N 0RB1TS THA SUN. 1 EM N0T REELEE SHUR WUT THAT MEENZ, BUT 1 QUESS 1TS PRITTEY SEKSEY T00 A CHIKK.

S0 YAH, N0W THAT 1 HAD A H0AL BUNTCH 0F FREE TYME, 1 MAYDE A L1ST 0F SHITT 1 NEED1D T0O GIT DUN. FERST 0FF, AND M0AST 1MP00RTINTLEY, 1 WENT T00 THA DR0GST00R AND ST0KKED UP 0N JIMMEE HATS. 1 BAWT L1KE 351793512735927 0F THEMM. 1 EM A SIRIUS BELEEVUR 1N SAYFE SEKS. 1 HAV HAD L1KE EVEREY ESS TEE DEE 1N EGZ1STINSE - G0NN0REEYA, S1F1L1S, SW0LL1N BAWL S1NDR0ME, DIKK R0T, Y00 NAYME 1T. AND LET MEE TELL Y00, 1TS REEL HARD T0 BANJ CHIKS WEN YER WANJ HERTS L1KE HELLL AND 1S DRIPPIN WEERD STINKEY SH1TT - TRUST MEE 0N THAT 0NE. N0T K1D1NJ.

N0WW, Y00 MYTE TH1NK 1 K00DINT P0SSIBLEE USE ALL TH0ZE RUBURZ. Y00 W00D BE R0NJ D00D. 1 G0 THR00 TH0ZE F0KKURZ L1KE Y00 W00DINT BELEEVE. 1 L1KE T00 MAYKE SHUR 1 HAV A JIMMEE HAT AVAYLABULL 1N EVEREY P0SSIBULL SENAREEY0. 1 HAV 1NSTAULLD AB0WT 5O SPESHUL B1NZ 1N MY KARR FULL 0F RUBURZ - EECH 1N A STRATEEJIK PLASE, L1KE UNDUR THA STEERINJ WEAL (1N KAYSE A CHIK WUNTS T0 F0KK WYLE 1 EM DRYVINJ), UNDUR THA FRUNT SEEETS (1N KAYSE WEE ARR G0NNA BANJ 1N THA BAKKSEET), 1N THA TR0NKK (MANEY CHIKKS HAV T0ALD MEE THAT F0KKINJ 1N THA TR0NK 1S VEREY R0MANTIKAL), UNDUR THA HUD (1N KAYSE A CHIKK F1NDS MEE D01N MEKANIKAL SHIZ AND THAT GITS HUR ALL H0TT)...1 K00D G0 0N. THEEZ SPESHUL BINZ ARR AKSH00ALEY JUST SH00BB0KSES - AND THAY ARR F1LLD W1TH JIMMEE HATS. S0 Y00 SEE H0W MANNEY 1 REELEE NEAD.

S0 YAH, 1 BAWT ALL MY JIMMEE HATS, STOPPD BY MY M0MS PLASE T0 B0R0W SUM MUNNY F0R THA TR1PP, AND 1 H1T THA R0DE. NEKST TYME 1 W1LL TELL Y00 AB0WT MY FERST ADVENCHUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STAY T00ND.

FAST FUUD

S0 T0DAYE 1 WANT T0 TALK AB0WT S0METHENJ THAT M0AST PEEPLE L1KE ..FAST F0UUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 HAFE T0 SAYE 1 THENK MY FAVORET 0WT 0F ALL 0F THEMM 1S WENDEESS. Y00 HAVE S0 MUCH VARIETYEE T0 CHUUSE FR0M AND THE BATHRUUMS AFTUR Y00 EAT ARE ALWAYSZ KLEEN. 1 ALWAYZ TAYK KWALITY D0MPS DARE. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAH. YESUHALLEE WUT 1 EET 1S - 5 DUBBLES, A FROSTEEE, 2 LARJE FRYES, AND A POTATOEE W1THA L0T 0F CHEELEE AND CHEEYZE. SO N00TRISSHYS AND Y00 KN0WE WUT THE SAY AB0WT BEEENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 ALS0 TEND T0 NEFER BR1NJ THAT MUCH MYUNNEY AR0WND BUT 1 ALWAYS BR1NJ THE SPAUR CHANJE 1 HAF LAYING AR0WND 1N MY K0WCHUS, ETCETRA. Y00 GET A G00D VAL00 F0R THE M0NEEY DARE. 1F AT TYMES I AM POOUR,(WH1CH 1S RAIR BEKAUSE 1 HAF 302 J0BSS HAHAHAHAHHAH) THEEY EVUN HAF A 98 SENT MENN00!!!!!!!!! Y00 KAN GET BOORGURS, CHIKKUN, A SYDE 0F Y00R CHOIYSE AND OTHYUR ST0FF THAT TAYSTSS GRATE!..

0NE TYME 1 TRIYED TO PIOIK UP A CH1KK IN DARE AND I THENK IT ALM0AST WORKED BUT N0 D1SE, SHE WAS EET1NJ A SALADD AND 1 WALKUD UP TO HUR AND BASICKALLY SAYD.."H0WS Y00R SALADD' AND SHE SAYD 1T WAS ..PRETTY GUUD AND THEN 1 ASKED HUR 1F 1 K1LD T0SS HURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHH SHE LUUKED AT ME KIND 0F FUNNEE AND THEN TOLD ME T0 F0KK 0FF 0R S0ME SH1T..AND I SAYD..GREAT! WUN?!!?!!? AND THEN SHE THR00 HUR GARBAJE BAGG OF WENDEES LEFT0VERS AT ME. WELL 1 QUESS 1T WORKED 0WT BEKAYSE SHE HAD LEFT A H0AL PACKAJE 0F FRYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA WAYST N0T WANT NOT. I KN0WE GREGG L1KES TAK0E BELL A GRATE DEEL, 0NE TYME HE TRYUED T0 H00K UP W1TH TH1S H0TT GURL WE KALLED 'TAKO BELL H0NNEE" BUT 1M NOT SH00RE HE HAD ANYYEE SEX ESS HHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WUT A G00D JOAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0N THA R0DE W1TH GREGG (PART 4 - THA JURNEY B1G1NS)

HAY D00DS, 1 EM BAKK W1TH ANUTHUR CHAPTUR 0F MY 0NG01NJ SEREEZ, 0N THA R0DE W1TH MEE, GREGG. LAST TYME 1 T0ALD Y00 AB0WT MY T0TULLEY SWEET RYDE. 1 KN0WE Y00 ARR JELLUSS!!!! AAHAHAHAHAGAHAGAGAAHAGAHAGAAA ANNYWAYY N0WW 1 W1LL DISKRYBE THA FERST DAY 0F MY JURNEY.

BY THA WAYY, JURNEY WUZ A REELEE AWSUM BANDD. D0NT ST0PP BELLEEVIN G0T ME THR00 SUM REELEE TUFF TYMES 1N MY L1FE. L1KE TH1S 0NE TYME 1 WUZ AT THA ARKAYDE PLAYINJ QUEBURT, AND 1 HAD PUMPD L1KE 714217624332113 K0RTURZ 1NT0 THA MASHEEN AND BEETIN A L0T 0F LEVULZ. AND THEN THAT FUKKUR K0ILEY KAWT UP W1TH MEE AND 1 DYED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D00DS 1 WUZ S0 F0KKIN PISSD 0FF, 1 PUNTCHED THIS K1D NEKST T00 MEE 1N THA FASE. HE DUSURVED 1T ANNWAYY, SINSE HE WUZ PLAYINJ MISTUR D00 0R SUM GAYE SH1T. SO RYTE THENN, D0NT ST0PP BELEEVIN KAME 0N, AND 1 REELYZED THAT 1 K00DINT GIV UPP AND 1 NEEDID T00 BEET K01LEY'S ASSSS!!!!!! 1 SPENT L1KE ANUTHUR $8275369253623 0N THA GAYME AND PLAYD 1T UNTILL 1 WENT BLYND (D0NT WURREY, 1T WUZ TEMP0RARRY).

THANX JURNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANUTHUR TYME 1 WUZ HANGINJ 0WT W1TH E-R0KK AND SUM UTHUR FRENDS AND WE WUR DRINKINJ SUM 0LD FUKKLISHES AND GITTIN KUMPLEETLEY HAMMURD. 1 D0NT REELEE RIMEMBUR MUTCH 0F THAT NYTE, BUT A KUPPUL D00DS T0ALD MEE WUT HAPPIND. 1 WUZ S0 F0KKED UPP 1 K00DINT TAULK, 1 WUZ DR00LINJ, 1 THR0WED UPP 1N THA H0WSEPLANTS, AN 1 QUESS 1 HAD PISSD AND SHAT ALL 0VUR MYESELLF. S0 BASIKALLEY A REGYULUR NYTE, EKSEPT F0R THA SHITTINJ. S0 SUM GYE SED, "HAY GREGG, Y00 KANT P0SSIBLEY DRINK ANNYM00R," AND 1 START1D T0 AGREEE W1TH HIM. BUT THEN D0NT ST0P BELEEVIN KAME 0N THA SEEDEE PLAYUR, AND 1 SED, "F0KK Y00 D00DS, 1 KAN DR1NK M00R Y00 F0KKURZ!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" AND 1 HAD L1KE 3253791253 M00R 0LD FUKKLISHES. 1 HAD MY STUM1KK P0MPED THAT NYTE AND SPENT THREE DAYZ 1N THA H0SPITUL BUT 1T WUZ T0TULLEY WERTH 1T.

THANX AGANN JURNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S0, HEERS A SH0WT-0WT T0 STEEVE PERREE AND THA GANJ: Y00 D00DS ARR T0TULLEY F0KKINJ JEENYUSSES.

VIDEY0 K1LLED THE RADYE0 STARR - MEETEVEE BL0AS!!

HAPPYYYEE FR1DAYE!!!!!!1 AHHAHHHAHAHAAHAHHAA

OKAYE, S0 EVERY0NE REELYZES THEEZ DAYES THAT MTV 1S MEERELY A SHADOWE 0F WUT 1T Y00SED T0 BE. AT UNE TYME, IT YEWSED T0 BE A HAVUN F0R THE M0ST KUTT1NJ EDJE VIDEY0S W1TH LITTLE REELITY SH0WES 0R 0THER GARBAJE THAT 1T N0W HAS 0N. N0WE 1T SEEMS BESYDES THE SH0WES"PEMP MY RYDE" AND "BABEES KRIBS" ( WHC1CH 1 L0VE BECAYSE 1 STR1VE TO GET TH0AS KARS AND H0WSES = M00RE SECKS W1TH CH1CKX), IT REELLY 1S THE WURST CHANNUL EVUR. HAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAH THPTHTTHPTHTPTHTPHPTHTPTHTPHTPTHTPHTPTHTPPTH!!!!!!! YAH, 1 ACTUALLEE FEEL GASSHUSS WUN MTVEE K0MES 0N NOWE. ALL 1 SEE 1S THE REEL W0RLD 349839048390483 ( 1 THENK THAY ARE 1N SYDNEE, AFR1KA 0R S0ME SH1T)., S0ME SH1T KALLED MY SWEET I9, AND ANOTHEUR 0NE KALLED THE HELLS THAT TAYKS PLASE 1N NEBRASKAH, 1 KEILD BE 0FF BUT Y00 GET MY DREFT!!!!!.

DARE WAS A SH0WE 0N 1N THE 8OS AND 9OS KALLED HED BANJURS BALL W1TH REECHKY RACHMANN HAHAAHAHAHAHA AND DEY PLAYUED ALL THE M0AST ROCKEN VIDEYOS!!!!! DARE WAS NOTHING L1KE GETT1NJ GALLUN SIZE BUKKET 0F K0MB0ES, A KEG 0F 0LD E AND KIIKING BAKK AND REELY ROKKING OWT. GREGGG AND I W1LD SOMETYMES M0SCH 1N OWR ROOM AND KREATE 0WR 0WN LIVE SH0WE!!!!!!!! SK1D R0WE AND PANTURA WUR SUM OF MY FAVOREETS. S0METYNMES 1D TRYEE T0 TALK T0 HEVEY METUL CH1CKS T00, BUT 1 NEFER HAD A H0AL L0T 0F LUCKK BAKK THEN, 1 SH0WEURD 0NSE OR TW1SE A WEEKE, MAYBEE THAT HAD S0METHINJ T0 D0 W1TH 1T ASHASHADHHSHSDAJKDHASKDJHJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

ANYWAYE, THE POYNT 0F TH1S BLOJ 1S THAT MTEEVEE S0CKS A BAGG 0F WEENURS, ANMD Y00 SH1LDNT WATCH 1T..EVUR. AHAAHAHAHAH YAH N0T K1D1NG

HOME 1MPROVUMENTS

HAY EVERY0NE1!!!! HAHAHHAAHHA

TODAYE 1 WUNTED T0 DISCUSS A TOPIK THAT S0ME 0F Y00 MYTE KNOW AB0WT..1MPROV1NJ Y00R LIVINJ KWARTERS!!!!! GREGG W1ILL ATTEST T0 THE FAKT THAT 1 HAVE A SWEEE1T KR1B AND EVERY TYME 1 BRINJ CH1KKS H0AM, 1 ALWAYZ SKORE BEKAWYSE THEY ARE ALWAYZ 1MPRESSUD!! GRANTUED MY PLASE 1S SMALL AND 1TS ONLY 3/4 0F A RUUM B1G, BUT 1 MAYK 1T WURK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T0 KW0AT THAT KRAP EET1NJ DAVE MATH000S BAND."YO0 MAIL THE BUEST 0F WUTS AR0WND" AGHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHHA

THE K0WCH 1N 1 HAVE 1S AB0WT 340930 YEERS 0LD, BUT 1VE HAD 1T RED0NE AND 1T W0RKS L1KE A CHARMM. YOU SEE CH1KCS DIG OLD K0WCHES BECAUSE 1T MEANS Y00 HAVE KLASS AND Y00 APPRECHYATE ANTEEKS!. 1 ALSE0 ADV1SE HAVFING A TEE VEE 0N THE SEELING AS WELLL AS THE FL00R. Y00 SH1LD BE ABEL T0 WATCH 1T FR0M ALL ANGJULS. 1 ALS0 REK0MMUND PLAY1BJ M00VEES L1KE NYTMARE 0N ELM STREET 6, TH1SS 1S SPINUL TAPP, AND DR1V1NJ MYSS DAYSEE. KWALITY F1LMS!!!!!!
1 HAVE 47 SPEEKURS 1N MY H0WSE S0 WUN 1 WATCH M00VEES 0R L1STEN T0 MYUISSK, Y00 GET THE F0LL EFFECKT. Y00 SH1LD RE11LLY KONSIUDR DOENJ TH1S, AS 1 HAVE HAD A L0T 0F LUKK SKOARINJ W1TH TH1S SETTUP. SPEEKURS 0N THE FLUUR, 1N THE TUBB, BY THE MIRKOWA1V, AND A FEW SETUP 0N TOP 0F 0LD E B0TTULS. ETCEUTRA

1 MODYFED MY BATHRUUM T0 HAVE A HOLDUR W1CH Y00 KAN PUTT Y00R 0LD E AND 1N KOMBOES. DARES N0THINJ LIIKE TAKINJ A B1G DUMPP AND EEATING AND DRINKING Y00 FAVORET TH1NJS!! THE CH1KCKS LIKE TH1S BEKAYYSE LETS FASE 1T..EVERY0NE DUMPSS!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. WUN Y00 ARE F1NISHJED AN AYR FRESCHNUER SPITSSS 0WT FRESCH SPRAYE T0 DEE 0DYRYZE. MY 0LD J0BB HAD TH1S BUT WHEN 1T RAN 0WT, 1T D PLAY A S0NJ...FR0M L1KE "CHARIOTS OF FIIRE" 0R S0ME SH1T HAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND F1NALLEE MY BED 1S A WATURD BED WHC1H HAS A FEW HOALS 1N IT BUT N0 B1G DEEL, ITS BETTUR S0METYMES T00 BECKAYUSE THEN 1 D0NT HAVE T0 GET UPP T0 GET A DRENK 0F WATURD!!! HHAAHAHAHHHA 1 KAN J0ST Y00SE A H0AL AS A WATUR F0WNTAIN. TH1S 1S ESPECHUALLY GUD WHEN A CH1KK 1S OVUR, ITS ALMOST L1KE A GEYSUR/WATERUDFALL EFFKET AND 1T KAN BE VERRY R0MANTIK..NOT K1D1NG AHSJHASKJHASKJHASJKHJKHASJKAD

S0 1 HOAP TH1S G1AVE S0ME GOOD TIPS 0N IMPROOV1NJ Y00 H0AM. GREGG HAS KALLED ME B0B VEELA BEFOAR AND 1 TOTALLY AGREE!!!!11 HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH YAH, NOT K1D1NG!!

0N THA R0DE W1TH GREGG (PART I - MY RYDE)

HAY EVEREYB0DDDEE, L0NJ TYME, N0 BL0J!!!!!! 1 HAV N0T BIN 1GN0RINJ Y00 - 1 HAV BIN 0N AN EKSITINJ SUMUR VAKASHUN!!! N0T K1D1NJ. N0WW 1 W1LL TELL Y00 AB0WT 1T IN A SEREEZ 0F SPESHUL-EDISHUN P0ASTS 1 KALL, 0N THA R0DE W1TH GREGG.

TH1S WUZ A DRYVINJ VAKASHUN, MEENINJ 1 DR0AVE AR0WND T00 DIFFRINT K00L PLASES. FURST 1 W1LL TELL Y00 AB0WT MY RYDE. 1TS A SWEET TRIKKED 0WT '86 H0NDU PRAYL00D, WITCH 1S A T0TULL BAYBE MAGNIT. 1TS ALS0E BAWLZ FASST.

Y00 SEE, 1 EM SUMTHIN 0F A GREESE MUNKEEY (N0T LITERULLEY, THAT 1S JUSST AN EKSPRESHUN WITCH MEENZ 1 L1KE FASST KARZ AND H0TT CHIX), S0 1 HAV DUN A L0T 0F K00L ST0FF T0 THA KARR. 1 HAV A GIYANT EKSZAWST PYPE, WICH LUKS AND S0WNDS AWSUM. ALS0E - AND 1 EM S0RREE 1F 1 GIT T00 TEKNIKUL HEER - THA HY00J PYPE LETS GASS SH00T THR00 THA ENJIN FASTUR, WICH LETSS ME G0 FASTUR AND PIKK UP M00R CHIX.

I HAV STIKKURZ ALL OVUR THA PLASE (L1KE 0N A RASE KARR) THAT ADVURTIZE DIFFRINT THINJS 1 L1KE - M0WNTIN D00, K0MB0ZE, A FYEW BEERZ, K0NDUMS, SMERPHS, AND S0 0N.

1 PUT A WINJ 0N THA TRUNKK, W1TCH 1S AKSH00ALEY A SKAYTEB00RD. TH1S HELPSS THA KARR STIKK T0 THA R0DE WEN 1 EM DRYVINJ L1KE 681159681 MYLES AN H0WR AR0WND K0RNURZ AND SH1T. THA WINJ 1S ATTATCHED T0 THA TRUNKK W1TH DUKT TAYPE S0 1T DUZINT FLYE 0FF.

1 REPLASED THA H0NDU SIMBULS 0N THA BAKK W1TH THA WERDS, 'GREGG HAS A B1G WANG' WITCH 1 R0AT 1N PURMANENT MARKUR S0 1T NEVUR K0MES 0FF. 1 KUNSIDUR TH1S A F00RM 0F ADVURTIZING.

INSYDE THA KAR, 1 HAV A L0T 0F REELEE K00L ST0FF. THARE 1S A SEGA JENESISS. THA JENESISS 1S N0T K0NNEKTED T0 ANYTHINJ; 1 JUST HAV 1T DUKT-TAYPED T0 THA DASHB00RD. 1 THNK 1T LUKS PRITTEY K00L. ALS0E, 1 HAV A SPESHUL PASSENJUR SEET. 1T 1S L1KE A MASSAJE CHAYRE. 1 KUT 0WT THA B0TTUM 0F THA SEET AND JAMMED AN AYRE KUMPRESSUR IN THARE, AND PLUGGD 1T 1NT00 THA SIGARETT LYTUR. THEN WEN 1 REECH UNDUR THA SEET AND FL1P THA SWICH, THA H0AL THINJ VYBRATES L1KE KRAZEY. CHIKS D1G 1T!!! EKSEPT TH1S 0NE TYME, 1 TERNED THA THINJ 0N AND THA CHIK SKREEMED AND J0MPED 0WT 0F THA KAR - LUKKILEE 1 WUZ 0NLEY G01N L1KE THURTEY MYLES AN H0WR AT THA TYME (WITCH 1S WEERD, BEKAWSE 1 EM USUALLEY G01N L1KE TEN TYMES THAT SPEAD).

1 RIPPD 0WT THA SENTUR K0NS0LE (BITWEEN THA FRUNT SEETS) AND DUKT-TAYPED A METULL B0AL IN THARE, WITCH 1 ALLWAYZ KEEP FILLD W1TH K0MB0ZE. WEN 1 GIT H0NGREY, TH1S 1S VEREY K0NVEENYINT. ALS0E CHIX DIG SNAX.

1 KUSTUMYZED THA EMERJUNSEY BRAYKE HANDUL BY KUVURING 1T W1TH AN EMPTEY B0TTUL 0F 0LD EE. 1 JUST JAMMED 1T 0N THARE AND DUKT-TAYPED 1T 1NT0 PLASE. THA 0NLEY PR0BLUM 1S THAT N0W THA LEVUR 1S L1KE THREE FEAT L0NJ, S0 1 KANT PUT 1T D0UWN ALL THA WAYY - 1T GITS STUKK 0N THA DASHB00RD. S0 USUALLEY 1 JUST DRYVE AR0WND W1TH THA PARKINJ BRAYKE 0N. 1TS T0TULLEY WERTH 1T.

F0R DEK0RASHUN, 1 PRINTUD 0WT A H0AL B0NCH 0F P00RN FRUM THA 1NTURNET AND GL00D THA PIKSHURZ ALL 0VUR THA KAR - THA SEELINJ, THA FL000R, THA BAKKSEET, THA D00RZ, AND S0 0N. 1 EVIN HAV TINEY PIKSHURZ 0F NEKKID CHIKS 0N THA SHIFTUR AND 1N THA AYRE VENTSS. 1 KUVURD THA MEERURZ AND W1ND0WZ T00, BUT 1T WUZ HARD T0 DRYVE S0 1 TUK THEM D0UWN.

S0 AS Y00 KAN SEE, 1 HAV A SIRIUSLEY AWSUM AND KLASSEY RYDE. THARE ARR A L0T 0F UTHUR HIDDIN FEETCHURS AS WELL, WITCH 1 W1LL TELL Y00 AB0WT LATURD. 1F Y00 WUNT ANY ADV1SE 0N H0WW T0 TRIKK 0WT YER KARR, PLEEZ LET ME KN0WE, 1 W00D BE HAPPEY T0 HELP - WETHER Y00 ARR AN AMATCHUR 0R A PR0EFESHUNUL. ESPESHULLEY 1F YER 0NE 0F THA D00DS FRUM THA TEEVEE SH0WE P1MP MY RYDE.

NEKST TYME 1 W1LL DISKRYBE THA FERST ST0PP 0N MY VAKASHUN.

S0MMUURS ALM0AST 0VUR.....ANOTHYUR POEUM

WELL 1TS THE END 0F AWGUST AND 1 KAN SAY TH1S, THAT 1TS BEEN A GRATE

S0MMURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DARE WUZ L0TS 0F GUD PARTIES, L0TS 0F K0MB0ES, AND L0TS 0F 0LD E AND OF COURSSS, L0TS 0F SECKS W1TH CH1CXS. LABUR DAYE 1S KOMING UPP AND 1 HAVE L1KE 340923498239048239 PARTEEES THAT 1 G0T 1NVUTED T00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYWAYE, 0NE 0F THE HYLYTES 0F THE SUMMUR 1S THE FAKT THAT WE STARTUD TH1S BL0G AND 1 WANTUD TO RYTE ANOTHYR POEUM, TH1S TYME REGARD1NG THE GRATE SUMMYURD. PLEEZE REED 0N......AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

OH SUMMYUR 1TS ALM0ST 0VUR
L1KE A PHART 1N THE WYND
A FAD1NJ MAMARRORY.

PALM TREES AND SM0K1NJ TREES
1 EET S0 MANY K0MB0ES
AFTER 1 SMOAK
THE GANJE

OLD E G0ES D0WN
S0 SM00THLEE
WUN 1 DRENK TO0O MANYEE
1 KANT SEEE
STRATE

THE NYTES ARE GET11NJ KOOULUR
1 JOST TOOK
THE B1GGUEST D0MP EVUR
"BOOULLER BOOULER!!"
WHAT A GRATE MOOVIEE THAT 1S

1 SAYD T0 A FREND
"HAY MANN, LUUK AT TH1SS SUNSET
IT'S ORANJE
L1KE THE CHEEYZE 1N KOMB0ES"
HE SAYD
"1 HEER Y00 MANN, 1TS ENUFF T0 MAKE
A GR0WN MAN
KRYE"

1 EM TEER1NJ UPP A BYT. HOAP THE CH1CKX ARE REED1NJ TH1SS, 1T SH0WS MY SENSETE1V SYDE. NOT K1D1NG!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOS1NG THE BATHRRUUM PR0PERLEE

0KAY TH1S 1SSH00 1S M00RE 0F A D00D TH1NJ BUT 1TS ALS0E POSSUBUL THAT 1T K1LD BE A GURL TH1NJ T00, 1T RE1LLY DEPENDZ 0N THE PERSUN HAHAHAHAAH N0T K1D1NG!!!!!!!!
SO 1 WENT T0 TAKE A WEE T0DAYE AT 0NE 0F MY 6 J0BBS, BECAKSE 1 DR1UNK A L0T 0F WATEURD AND KAWFEE. 1 TRYE T0 EET HELTHY (1VE HERD K0MB0ES, WATURD, KAWFEE, AND 0LD E 1S A G00D HELTHY KOMBOE..PARD0N THE PUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1...MOORE 0N TH1SS LATURDD!!!!

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH) AND WEUN 1 WENT T0 Y00SE THE RESTRUUM DARE SEEMS T0 BE D00DS WHO KANT AYM K0RREKTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 EM NOT 0NE 0F THEM 1 MAYK SURE MY WANJ AYMS AT WARE 1T NEEDS T0. WUT 1 D0NT 0NDERSTAND 1S THAT H0WE Y00 KAN M1SS 1T S0 BLANTANTLEE S0 PEE1NJ 1S L1KE WALK1NNJ ON A MINEFEELD. YESS OKAYE 1 KN0WE 1TS GR0SS BUT 1TS AN ISSHOO THAT NEEDS T0 BE ADDRUSSED!!!!!! S0 D00DS WYN Y00 ARE Y000S1NJ THE FAS1L1TEES, ALWAYZ AYM..... N0T F0R THE STARRS!!!!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHGAGAGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!!AGA!!! MANN 1 KANT HELPP H0WE F0NNEE 1 AM.

0NE KWIK ST0REE, DARE WUZ TH1S 0NE D00D AT 0NE 0F MY 0LD J0BBS, H00 USED T0 TALK 0N THE F0AN WYLE TAK1NJ A KRAP . VERRY GR0SS!!!!!!1 AND THEN HE W1LDNT WASCH H1S HANDSS AFTURWARDSS. GREGG WAS WITNUSS T0 TH1S T00, 1 YEWSED T0 D0 TH1SS BUT THEN CH1CX W1LD THENK T1T WAS DISG0ST1NG S0 1 STOPPUD AND SAW THE ERRUR 0F MY WAYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND N0WE WUN 1 Y00SE THE JAWN, 1 EM VERRY MANNUR DR1VEN. CH1CKS L1KE MANNURS. N0T K1D1NG. ALS0E PASS1NJ GASS L1KE DARES N0 T0M0RR0WE 1N THE BATHRUUM (OR 1N GENEERUAL) 1S ALS0E S0RT 0F NASTEE, BUT FUNNEE AT THE SAYM TYME. TPTHTPTHTPTHTPTHPTHTTHTPTHPTHTPTHPHTP
YAH

1 LYKE T0 RYTE T00

GREGGS LAST POEUM 1NSPYRED ME S0 MUCH T0 RYTE S0 1 HEERS THE 0NE 1 R0AT. 1 AM 0FFEN 1NSPIRED BY EDGURD ALLUM POHE, SHAYKSSPEER, AND OTHUR GRATES. 1 AM 0NE KULLCHUURED M0THERFUKKUR. 0NE 0F THE REEZ0NS 1 HAVE SECS W1TH A L0T 0F CH1CKX 1S THAT 1 AM 0N 0NE HAND A TUFF B1YOTCH, BUT 1 AM ALS0 A TR00 SKOLUR. S0 W1TH0WT FURTHUR D00, HEER WE G0. TH1S 1S AB0WT A GURL H00 1 RELL1Y LIKED 0NE DAYE

1TS KALLYD, HEVEY MUTUL L0VE

1 SAW Y00 STAND1NG FR0M AFARR,

1 NEEDYD S0METHENJ FR0M THE BARR

1 THEN HAD T0 PASS S0ME GASS

1T WAS THEN, 1 SAW

Y00R ASS

AND FELL

1N LUV

Y00 D1DNT G1VE ME THE TYME 0F DAYE

1T WAS 0KAYE

1 DINT PRAYE

BEKAYSE

1M N0T RELIJJUSS

Y00 T0LD ME T0 GET THE F0KK 0WT 0F HEER

AFTUR 1 OFFURED Y00 A BEER

1T WAS KLEER

THAT 1 GR0SSUED Y00 0WT

S0 THEN 1 HAD T0 SH0WT

1 NEED TO PHART REEL BAD!!!!!!!

BUT 1TS ALL GUD, BECKAUSE THEN

1 H1T 0N AN0THUR GURL

SHE MYTE HAVE BEEN A D00D F0R ALL 1 KN0WE

T00 MUCH 0LD E W1LL D0 THAT

MAN THAT BEER MAKES ME G0E.

PEE

S0 1N THE END, 1 NEVUR G0T ANY.

1 THEN HAD T0 G0T0 DENNYS

AND 0RHYDR PLENTY

M00NS 0VUR MYHAMMEE

AND A SAWMPLUR PLATTURD

W0W N0W 1 HAVE R1LLY

G0 EAT A BAG

0F K0MB0ES

MY LUVE F0R Y00 ST1LL GR0ES

ANY THAWTES 0N MY PEOUM!>??!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

1 R0AT A P0EUM

1F Y00 REED TH1S BL0J REGYULURLEY THEN Y00 KN0WE THAT 1 EM A PRITTEY BADASSS M0THRF0KKKUR. BUT 1 ALS0E HAV A SENSS1T1V, THAWTFULL S1DE, WICH HELPSS ME HAV SEKS W1TH CH1XS. W1TH THAT 1N M1ND, PLEEZ REED MY AWSUM P0EUM.

AN 0AD T0 K0MB0ZE, BY GREGG

Y00 ARR AWSUM
PR0BUBLEY THA BESST THINJ 1N THA WERLD
BESYDES SEKS W1TH CHIXS.

Y00 ARR KRUNCHEEY
L1KE A BUNTCH 0F R0X W00D PR0BUBLEY BEE
1F Y00 K00D EET R0X.

Y00 ARR T00B-SHAYPED
L1KE MY WANG
BUT Y00 ARR MUTCH, MUTCH, MUTCH SMALLUR THEN MY EN00RMUSS WANG.

Y00 ARR DELISHUSS
SALTEY AND CHEEZEY
L1KE MY BAWLZ.

Y00 - ARR THA GRATEST SNAK F00D EVUR 1NVENTUD, EVIN BETTUR THEN SLIM JIMZ.
Y00 - ARR EVERYTHINJ T00 MEE.
Y00 - ARR K0MB0ZE.

- THA END -

M00S1K ANALESYS

OKAY, BE1NJ THE S0RT 0F M00S1K K0N0S0RE THAT 1 AM, 1D L1KE T0 TAYK TH1S OPPORT00NITY T0 RE1LLY DESKRYBE H0W 1 BRAKE D0WN A S0NJ. SOME S0NJS ARE MENT T0 BE TAYKEN AT FASE VAL00 WARE DARES N0 DEEPUR THAWTE REKWIRED, BUT THEN THARE ARE SUM THAT R1LLY M00VE 0NE'S EM0SHUNUL M0WNTANS WEN L1STENYUD T0.
0NE 0F THESE S0NJS 1S THE VAN HALYN H1T "J0MP" FR0M I984. 1 REMEMBVR THE DAYE L1KE 1T WAS YESTERDAYE WUN 1 FURST HERD 1T. S1TT1NG BAKK AT MY PARENTZ H0WSE, EET1NJ K0MB0ES, PHART1NJ, AND WATCHENJ MTVEE WUN THEY ACKSUALLY PLAYD M00S1K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 AND N0T PEMP MY RYDE ESPISOAD 43948290!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT 1 DIGRESS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHA

S0 LETS TAYK THE LERIKS T0 THE S0NJ AND TH1NJ AB0WT THEM. HAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA , I WILL TAYK EECH SECTIONE 0F THE S0NJ AND BRAYK 1T D0WNE!!!


"1 GETT UPP AND N0THINJ GETS ME D0WNE.
Y00 G0T 1T TUFF. 1VE SEEN THE TUFFEST AR0WNDE
AND 1 KN0WE BABYEE, J0ST H0W Y00 FEEL.
Y00VE G0T T0 R0AL W1TH THE PUNCHUS, T0 GET WUTS REEL"

0KAY.N0WE WUT LEE ROWTH 1S SAYI1NJ HEER 1S THAT HE WAYKS UP 1N THE M00RN1NJ, EETS A BAG 0F K0MB0ES AND HE FEELS L1KE A MEELION BUKKS!!!!! LYKE HE K1LD TAYK 0VUR THE W0RLD!! AND T0 NEVER LET L1FE GET Y00 D0WNE, Y00 J0ST G0TTA KEEP 0N KEEP1NMJ ON!!!!!!!!!!!

OH KANT Y00 SEE ME STAND1NJ HEER,
1VE G0T MY BAKK AGANST THE REKKYURD MASHEEEN
1 AYNT THE W0RST THAT Y000VE SEEN.
OH KANT Y00 SEE WUT 1 MEEAN!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HEER THE D00D 1S HAVN1J A TUFF TYME, HE 1S 1N A BARR AND HE 1S VERRY DRUNKK BUT HE SEES THE GURL THAT HE WANTSZ..HE 1S FEEL1NK 1NSEKOORE AB0WT HIMSELF. TYME T0 EET M0RE K0MB0ES AND GET DRUNKK AND F0KKED UP!!!!!!!!!

MYTE AS WEILL J0MP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JOMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 G0 AHED J0MP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

N0W WUT HE 1S TELLINJ Y00 1S THAT N00NE KAN H0LD Y00 BAKK FR0M Y00R DREEMS, Y00 NEED T0 JOMP OVUR TH0AS H0RDLES W1CH L1FE THR0WS 1N Y00R WAY!!!!!!!! N0 MATTUR WUT, Y00 HAVE T0 KEEP THE DREEM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MANN EVUN J0ST WRITI1NJ TH1SS, 1 FEEL INSPIYRED ..REDY T0 TAYK 0N THE WORULD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1M GONNA G0 BUYE S0ME K0MB0ES AND 0LD E, AND R1LLY G0 GET S0ME ST0FF D0NE!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE EVUN SN1FF S0ME GL00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAHAHHAHAHHASDJHKASJDHASJKDHASJKDHKASHADAHJAHJAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH

AN 1NT1M1T SUBJEKT

HY EVEREYB0DDEY T0DAYY 1 WUNTED T0 TAULK AB0WT A SUBJEKT THAT M0AST PEEPUL ARR A LITUL UNKUMFTURBULL D1SKUSSINJ. THA SUBJEKT 1S PURSUNUL HYJEENE. F00R MANEY YEERZ 1 D1D N0T FULLEY 0NDURSTAND THA 1MP00RTANSE 0F BEINJ KLEEN. BUT N0W 1 D00. 1 EM 0LDUR, W1ZUR, AND M0AST 1MP00RTINTLEY, MUTCH KLEENUR.

F0R 0NE THINJ, CHIKS D0NT L1KE T0 HAVE SEKS W1T Y00 1F Y00 SMELL BADD. AN EKSEPSHUN T00 TH1S R00L 1S IF THA CHIK 1S VEREY DR0NK. BEKAWSE, AS WE HAV SED, DR0NK CHIXS L1KE SEKS M00R THAN S0BUR CH1XS. THAY W1L IGN00R YER STENTCH, BEKAWSE 1T 1S HARD T0O SMELL THINJS WEN Y00 ARR BAIRLEY K0NSHUSS. N0T K1D1NJ. THA P0YNT 1S, 1F YER TRYEINJ T0 HAV SEKS W1T A S0BUR CHIK, TAYKE A SH0WUR, WASH YER WANG, AND PUT 0N L0TS 0F YER F1N1ST K0L0AN.

ALS0 1T 1S HARD T0 GIT A J0BB 1F Y00 SMELL L1KE ASSS. 1 1NTURVYEWED F0R MANEY J0BBS 1N THA BIZNISS WERLD, 0N WALL STREAT, 0R WUTEVUR, AND 1 D1D1NT GIT ANNY 0F THEMM. M0AST TYMES 1 WUZ JUST ASKD T0 LEEVE THA BILD1NJ, WITH0WT EVIN GITTIN T00 THA 1NTURVYEW. TH1S 1S DEF1N1ITLEE BEKAWSE 1 HAD H0RRIBULL B0DDEE 0DUR. 0NE DAYY 1 TUK A SH0WUR, W1T S0PE AND EVERYTHINJ. 1 EVIN SKRUBBD MY BAWLZ REEL GUD. THEN 1 WENT T00 MY INTURVYEW AT THA L0KUL WAWA, AND 1 G0T THA J0BB N0 PR0BLUM. THAY HYRED MEE 0N THA SP0T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WUZ A GRATE J0BB, BEKAWSE 1 K00D SWYPE ALL THA K0MB0ZE 1 WUNTED, AS L0NJ AS THA DIKKASS MANAJUR WUZINT LUKING. ALS0 THARE WUZ TH1S H0TT CHIK THAT WERKED THA SANDW1TCH K0WNTUR. 0NE DAYY SHEE ASKD MEE T0 GIT SUM L0NCHMEET FRUM THA FRIJJE 1N THA BAKK, AND 1 KAME BAKK W1TH MY PANTS AR0WND MY ANKULS. 1 SED, "HAY BABEY, ALL 1 K00D F1ND WUZ TH1S GIYANT SALAMEE!!!!!!" AAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! YAH 1 EM A PRITTEY GUD K0MEDEEYAN. ANNYWAY 1 WUZ FYRED LATUR THAT DAYY.

YAH, S0, THA P0YNT 1S, STAYY KLEEN AND Y00 W1LL GIT K0MB0ZE.

MAT1TH W1TH ER1KK 1O7 - Y00 KAN HAVE F0N ..N0T K1D1NG

1TS A GRATE M0NDAYE......HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA 0H MAN, 1 DRANK A L0T 0F EVERYEETHENJ AND ATE A L0T 0F K0MB0ES TH1S WEEKUND. 1 D0NT EVEN REMEMBUR M0AST 0F 1T!!!!!! AHSDAJDHAJDKHAKJDHAJKDHAJKDHA. YAH.
ANYH0WE ENUFF AB0WT THATT, T0DAY 1 FELT THE NEED T0 RE1LLY K0NVEY H0W MUCH F0N 1 THENK MATH 1S. 1TS N0T A SUBKJEKT Y00 HAVE T0 HAYT!!!!! M0AST PEEPLE T0TALLY SH0N 1T, HAHHAHAAHAHA BUT 1 D0NT AND NEFUR W1LL 1 K0NSIDUR MYSELVE A JOONYOR MATHEMETISHUN 1 G0T STRA1GHT EFFS 1N SKO0L BEKAWSE 1 HAD MY 0WN THEE0REES THAT THE TEECHURS J0ST D1DNT GET. S0METYMES JENNIUSSES ARE M1SUNDERST00D, 1TS J0ST THE STR0GGLE WE HAVE.

S0 HEERS WUT 1D L1KE Y00 T0 D0. REED THE F0LL0W1NG EKWASHUNS AND THEN D0NT L00K AT THE ANSY00RS, TRIE T0 FIGGOUR 1T 0WT AND THEN LUUOOK!!!!!!!!

0KAY EQUASHUN N0MBUR 1)

1F DARE ARE 4O 40 0WNCE BOTTULS 0F 0LD E HALF FOLL 0N THE WAL, HOW M0CH BEER 1S LEFT?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?...................................................................................



1F Y00 QUESSEUD. 8OO OWNCES. Y00 ARE WR0NJ. S0RREE D00DS AND D00DETTES. THE REEZ0N BE1NG, 1S THAT EVERY0NE MYTE SAY TH1S..BUT R1LLY THENK AB0WT 1T. THE BEER 1S PROBABLEE WARM BY N0WE 1F 1TS LEFT AND 1F Y00 KN0WE ANYTHI1NJ AB0WT BEER, 1F 1TSW WARM, 1T GETS THR0WNE 0WT!!!!!!
S0 THE ANSYR 1S ZEROE!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

EQUASHUN N0MBUR 5)

1F Y00 ATE I7 BAGS 0F KOMB0ES BUT BAWTE A B0CS 0F 30 BAGS, H0W MANNEE W1LD Y00 HAVE LEFT........................................

OKAY 1F Y000 QUESSEUD I3, AGANE Y00R WR0NG!!! HAHAHHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THE REEZ0N 1S Y00 W1LD HAVE D0MPED THEM ALL 1N A B1G BUKKUT T0 EET AS S00N AS Y00 BAWTE THE BAGS AND N0T LEEVE THEM 1N THE BAGS!!!! SO THE ANSUR 1S ZEERROE!! HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TH1S 1S KEEY T0 LEERN1NG Y00SEF0L MATH!! THENKING W1TH 1NTELLEKT!!!

EQUASHUN N0MBUR 8)

1F Y00 WATCH THE TEEVEE SH0WE LOST F0R 0NE H0WRE, AND Y00 BAWTE 7- 40 OWNCE B0TTULS 0F BEER, H0W MANY 0WNCES W1LD Y00 HAVE DRANK 1F Y00 DRANK THEM ALL 1N THE H0WR!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

0KAY.....THE ANSYR 1S...............................................

245 0WCES. THE REMANING 35 ( 5 OZ 1N EEECH BOTTUL) 1S ALWAYS THE W0RST BEKAYSE 1TS THE B0TTUM 0F THE BEER, N00NE H00 APPRESHYATES G00D BEEHR DR1NKS THE VERYY B0TTOM SO YOO ALWAYS LEEV 5 OWNSES G1VE 0R TAYK!!!!!!

AHSDHASJDHASJKDHASJKDHSJKDASHJKDHASJKDHSAJKHASJKDHASJKDHASJKDH

WELL, THATS MY MATFTH LESSYUN F0R T0DAYE! 1 HOAP Y00 LEERNED S0METH1NKG. NECTS WEELL TAKUL M0RE DIFFUKULT PROBLUMS!~!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAHHAHAHAHH

M1KS0L0JEY 8O1

1 KUNSIDUR MYESELLF AN AMACHUR M1KS0L0J1ST. THAT 1S A BIG WERD WICH JUST MEENZ 1 L1KE T0 GIT F0KKED UP REEL GUD. MY MAYN G0LE 1S T0 MAYKE DRINX THAT GIT ME AS F0KKED UP AS P0SSIBULL, AS FASST AS P0SSIBULL. SIRIUSLEY, TH1S 1S MY 0NLEY G0AL, AND 1 EM PRITTEY GUD AT IT. I D0NT KARE 1F THA ST0FF TAYSTES L1KE DAWG P1SS, AS L0NJ AS 1T MAYKES MEE S00PUR DR0NK S00PUR FASST.

S0, 1 W1LL GIV Y00 A FYEW 0F MY SPESHUL DRINKK RESIPEEZ. 1F Y00 KAN GIT A DAYTE WIT A CHIKK, AND MAYKE SUM 0F THEEZ DR1NX W1T MY SPESHUL MEET PYE, HUR PANTS W1LL FLYE RYTE 0FF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ.

A) J00W1SH KAR B0MM - M1KS 0NE B0TTUL 0F BAYLEYS 1R1SH KREEM W1T 0NE B0TTUL 0F MANISHEV1TS WYNE. TH1S DRINKK 1S A LITTUL SWEET AND FR00TEY, S0 CHIXS REELEE D1GG 1T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

8) MAMMA'S CHIKK1N S00P - TH1S 1S WUT MY MAMMA W00D GIV MEE T00 DRINKK AT NYTE SUMTYMES WEN 1 K00DINT SLEAP. M1KS 0NE KUPP CAMBULLS CH1KK1N W1T STARZ S00P W1TH 0NE CUPP V0DKUH. 1 L1KE THA K1ND THAT K0MES 1N A PLASST1K JUGG. S0 D1D MAMMA. PLEEZ N0AT: TH1S RESIPPEE DUZINT WERK W1T ANNY UTHUR K1ND 0F S00P. S1R1USLEY.

8) DR0NKSIKLES - TH1S 1S1NT REELEE A DR1NK EGZAKTLEY, 1T 1S M00R L1KE A TASTEY FR0Z1N SNAKK, BUT 1T W1LL GIT Y00 PRITTEY F0KKED UPP. TAYKE A B1GG BAGG 0F K0MB0ZE - ANY FLAVUR EKSEPT KRAKKUR, BEKAWSE TH0ZE SUKK SKWIRRUL NUTZ. 0P1N 0NE END 0F THA BAGG. BANJ 0N THA BAGG W1T A HAMMUR, 0R YER F1ST, 0R YER WANJ, WUTEVUR'S HANDEY - JUSST BRRAKE THA K0MBOZE UP 1NT00 LITTUL PEESES. BUT D0NT BUST THA BAGG, AND D0NT LET THA K0MB0E PEESES FALL 0WT. N0WW P00R A B0TTUL 0F LIKKUR 1NT0 THA BAGG. HEERS WARE Y00 KAN REELEE PURS0NALYZE THA RESIPEE - Y00 KAN USE V0DKU, 0R J1N, 0R RUMM, 0R SK0CH, 0R BURBUN...WUTEVUR Y00 L1KE, AS L0NJ AS 1TS STR0NJ AS BAWLZ. 1 L1KE KAPTIN M0RJ1N'S MYESELLF; 1 TH1NK 1T G0ES REEL N1SE W1T THA TANJ 0F NATCH0E CHEEZ K0MB0ZE. ANNWAYY - AFTUR Y00 P00R YER LIKKUR 1NT0 THA BAGG, PUT A STIKK IN THARE, AND KAYREFULLEY PLASE 1T 1NT0 YER FREEZUR. WAYTE A FYEW H0WRS 0R DAYZ 0R WUTEVUR. PULL 1T 0WT, TAYRE 0FF THA BAGG, AND EET 1T L1KE A HY00J P0PSIKLE. 1TS SIRIUSLY GUD SH1T. BENN AND JERREY - 1F YER REEDINJ TH1S, D0NT STEAL MY IDEYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0R 1 W1LL T0TULELY S00 THA SH1T 0WT 0F Y00, Y00 M0THURF0KKURZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I) 0LD FUKKL1SH - TAYKE A B0TTUL 0F 0LD EE. DR1NK L1KE HAF 0F 1T. F1LL THA B0TTUL BAKK UP W1T EVURKLEER, 0RR M00NSHYNE, 0R WUTEVUR K1ND 0F GRAYNE ALK0H0LL Y00VE G0T HANDEEY. 0R RUBINJ ALK0H0L, 0RR HAND SAN1T1ZUR. WUTEVUR. SHAYKE. SURVE.

4) THA 0LD EE-MURJENSEY R00M - TH1S 1S SIMULUR T0 THA 0LD FUKKLISH, W1TH A LITTUL TW1ST. TAYKE A B0TTUL 0F 0LD EE. DRINKK HAFF 0F 1T. F1LL THA B0TTUL BAKK UP W1T FURNITCHUR P0L1SH, 0R DRAYN0E, 0RR LYTUR FL001D - 0R A K0MB1NASHUN. STUR AND SURVE. 1 GAYVE 1T THA NAYME 0LD EE-MURJENSEY R00M BEKAWSE THATS USUALLEY WARE 1 END UP WEN 1 MAYKE TH1SS. BUT D00D, THA BUZZ 1S KILLUR. N0T K1D1NJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 H0AP Y00 HAV 1NJ0YYD MY DRINKK RES1PEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEEZ SHAYRE YER FAYV0RIT DRINKK RESIPPEEZ W1T MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE M00RE THAWTE F0R T0DAYE...

1 HERD SUM LIRICKS T0DAYE 1N TEEJAY MAX...AND THEY R1LLEE SPOAK T0 ME. I D0NT RE1LLY L1KE THAT K1ND 0F MUSIKK BUT 1 QUESS 1TS JUST THE MOOD IM IN AHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAH

EVERYEEDAY 1S A WINDI1NJ R0AD...1 GET A LITTUL B1T KLOSER...

EVERYDAYE 1S A FADUDE SINE...1 GET A LITTLE B1T KLOASER..

T0 FEEL1NJ FIIIIINE......

S0 DEEP YO0 KNOWE?!?!!?!?!??!

GRAYT V1DE0 GAYMS, A L1TTUL H1ST0REE

HAPPEE FR1DAYE EVERYEE0NE!!!!!!!!!!!11311111!1111!! SO GRATE THAT T0DAYE 1S FRYDAYE BUT THE RANE KINDA SOCKS, BUT WUT KAN Y00 D0, KANT W1N EM ALL ..AHSHAHAAHAHASDJHASDJASHJDASHASJKDHASASDHSADJ

YESYUALLEE 0N THE WEEKUNDS 1 L1KE TO PLAYE VIDEO GAYMES, EET F00D, AND TRY T0 GET SEKS W1TH CH1CXS! Y00 NEVUR KN0WE WUT 1 MYTE END UPP DOENJ TH0W AS 1 EM PRETTEE UNPREKEDIKTABUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAH.

S0 TODAYE 1 W1LL SHAIR S0ME THAWTES 0N GUD V1DEOEE GAYMS THAT 1 THENK WERE MYLEST0ANS 1N MAK1NG GAYMS WUT DEY ARE T0DAYE. HEERS A FEW THAT 1 THENK AND 1D LUVE YUOOR OPINY0NS T00!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NG...

I)D00BOL DRAG0N - N0W TH1S WAS A GAYM , BASIKALLY T00 D00DS H00 WALK AR0WND THE STREAT AND BEET UP 0THUR D00DS T0 EVENCHUALLY GET THE GI1RL BAKK. BUT THE BEST PARRT WAS THAT 1F Y00 B0TH BEET THE GAYM T0GETHUR, Y00 GET T0 FYTE EECH 0THUR F0R THE GURL AT THE ENDD!. A F00 TYMES 1 REMEBUR PLAY1NJ W1TH GREGG AND WE FAWTE AT THE END, AND BEE1NJ THE KRAZEE K1DS WE WUR, WE ACKAYUALLY THR00 D0WNE F0R REEEL 1N THE ARKAYD AND NOKCUED 0VUR THE ARKADE GAYM KABINUT!!!. AJAASDASJKDASJADHJASHASDJ 1 MEEN, WUT EM0SHUN 1N THAT GAYM!!!!

4) DOKTOR JAY VERSUS LARREE BURD FOR THE APPLE T00 CEE. TOO BASKEYTBALL GRATES D00K 1T 0WT !!, SYUCH REELIZ1M AND F0R A I983 GAYM, 1T WAS SIMPLEE THA BEST. DEY J0ST D0NT MAYK EM L1KE THEY YEWSED T00. UNREEEL GRAFICS TOO F0R 1TS TYME, 1TS ALM0AS AS 1F THE NBA WAS ON TEEVEE 0N Y00R M0NITORR. 1 Y00SED T0 DUNKK 0N A RYM 0N MY BEDRUUM D00R, I BROAK 1T MANYYEE TYMES..THE D00R..N0T K1D1NG

7) SUMMER GAYMS PART TOO KOMPTESHUN AT 1TS BEST. Y090 HAD EVENUTS L1KE ROWENJ, TREPLE JUMP, FENSINJ, EKWESTRAYAN, AND KAYAKINJ. A L0T 0F TYMES 1D HAVE PEEPLE K0ME 0VYUR MY H0WSE, SET UP THE 0L WORKHOURSE KOMMOD00RE 65, AND 0F COURSSS, GET A FEW POUNDS 0F K0MB0ES AND COAKA C0ALA S0 WEED HAVE ENEERGEE. PEEPLE G0T S0 AMPUD UP THAT WEED ACTUALLY STARTT FENS1NG F0R REEL S0METYMES WTH ANYEE 0BJEKTS WE K1LD FYND. 0R THEYDD GET 0N THE K0WCHJ AND TRYE T0 RYDE 1T AR0WND THE RUUM AND HOPP OVUR SH1T ..OF COURSS..EKWESTRIAYN. AND R0W1NJ ESPECHUALLY G0T MESSEE, PEEPLE W1LD G0 1N THE BATTHTYBB AND F1LL THE WATUR UPP AND J0ST PRETTEND DEY WUR 1N A R1VUR. L0TS 0F WET KLOATHES, N0T K1DD1NG!!!!!!

1 GET A LITTLE N0STALJIK WUN A TALK AB0WT 0LD VIDEY0 GAYMS. 1 WILL M0ST L1KELE D0 A WEEKALY KOLUMN 0R BY WEEKLEY THAT EGGSAMINZES VIDEO GAYMS AND H0W M0CH BETTURD THEY W0RR BAKK THEN. 1 THENK 1 MYTE KRY N0W. K1DD1NG!!!!! AHDASKDJASHJKSDHHASASHASHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHSJAHSDJASHDJKASHDASJKDH WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

H0WW T00 EET

ANUTHUR 1MP0RT1NT TH1NJ 1N LYFE 1S F00D. PEEPUL NEED T0 EET F00D, 0R THAY W1LL EVENCHUALLEY G1T H0NGREY. PLUSS, SUMTYMES CHIXS W1LL G1V Y00 SEKS 1F Y00 MAYKE THEM A N1SE DINNUR. S0 T0DAYYS P0AST 1S AB0WT MAKINJ SUM GRATE F00DS. 1 W1LL GIV Y00 0NE 0F MY VEREY SPESHUL RES1PEEZ!!!! YUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUMYUYMYUMYYMYUYUYMYYUYUMYUYMYUMYUYMUYMYYUMUYMUYUYMUYMYUYUMYUUMYUMYUMYUMYMUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 EM A SHEFF. 1 D1D1NT G0 T00 SHEFF SK00L - 1 TAWT MYESELLF. 1 MAYKE SUM SIRIIUSLY G0RMAY SH1Z. 1 USE A KUPPUL 0F SEKRET 1NGREYD1UNTS THAT 1 W1LL SHAYRE W1T Y00. Y00 MAYY BEE SKEPTIKUL AT FERST, BUT TRYE 1T, Y00 W1LLL LUV 1T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y00 HAV MY GARAUNTEEEEEEE

GREGGS SOOPUR AWSUM MEET PYE

INGRED1YUNTS:
1 KUPP SHUGUR
1/2 KUPP KETCH0P
1 B0KS BR0UWN SHUGUR S1NAMUN P0P TARTSS
1 PAKAJE TW1NKEEZ
ANUTHUR PAKAJE 0F TWINKEEZ
1 KAN D1NTEE M00R BEAF ST00
12 SNIKURZ BARZ
50 SL1M J1MMS (1 PRIFER SPISEY, BUT JUSST USE YER FAYV0RIT)
1 P0WND K0MB0ZE (ANYTHINJ EKSEPT KRAKKUR FLAYVUR, WITCH SUKS PIJJUN BAWLZ)
1 B0TTUL 0LD EE (D0 NOT USE SAYNT 1DEZ 0R MIKKEES O0R K0ALT 49)


1NSTRUKSHUNS:
GIT A PYE PANN, OR SUM K1ND 0F D1SH 0R SUMTHINJ. 0R WUTEVUR. BRAYKE UP THA P0P TARTZ AND TW1NKEEZ, AND MASH EM ALL T00GETHUR W1T YER HANZ. PRESSS THA MIKSCHUR AGENST THA SYDES 0F THA PANN.

LETT S1T F0R 1 T0 5 DAYZ. TH1S LETS THA FLAYVURS BLENDD T0GETHUR AND GIT TASTEEYUR.

1N ANUTHUR B0AL, KUMBYNE BEAF ST00, SHUGUR, KATCH0P. MASH 1T ALL UPP. USE YER HANZ, 1TS K000L. P00R 1NT00 PANN. TARE UP SLIM J1MZ AND STIKK THEM ALL 0VUR THAT SH1T.

PREHEET UVIN T0 9OOO D1GREEZ (0R H0WEVUR H0TT THAT FOKKUR GITS)

KAYREFULLY LAYY SNIKURZ ALL OVUR MEAT PYE. PUTT PYE 1N UVIN. BAYKE F0R 2-12 H0WRZ, 0R WUTEVUR.

WYLE Y00 WAYTE, DRINKK YER 0LD EE AND EET K0MB0ZE.

WEN PYE 1S DUN, REM00VE FRUM UVIN. LET K00L F0R 3-16 H0WRZ. SL1SE PYE W1TH SHARPP NYFE. PUTT SLYSE 0N PLAYTE. GIT A F0RK. USE THA F00RK T0 BRAYKE 0FF A PEESE 0F PYE. GIT THAT PEESE 0F PYE 0N THA F00RK. KAYREFULLEY BALANSE PEESE 0F PYE 0N F00RK WYLE Y00 M00VE 1T T00RDS YER M0UF. PUT F00RK 1N MOUF. KL0ZE YER L1PZ 0VUR F00RK. REM000VE F0RK FRUM M0UF, LEEVINJ PYE 1NSYDE YER FASE. CH00 PYE KAYREFULLE. BE SHUR T0 INJ0YY ALL THA DELISHUSS FLAYVURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AFTUR Y00 HAV CH00D F0R A WYLE, PUSH THA PYE T00 THA BAKK 0F YER M0UF W1TH YER TUNG, AND THEN SWALL0WE 1T. YUMYUYMYUYMYUYMUYY MYMYMYUMYUYYMUYUYYUVMU U YUMYUYUMYUMUYMYYUYUMYYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KUNTINY00 EETINJ PYE UNTILL Y00 ARRRR FULL, 0R UNTILL 1T 1S G0N, W1CHEVUR K0MES FERST. AFTUR A WYLE, THA PYE W1LL MAYKE 1TS WATYY THR00 YER BELLEY, AND 1T W1LL WUNT T00 GET 0WT. THEN Y00 W1LL NEAD T0 FYND A BAFR00M. 1 W1LL GIV Y00 TH0ZE INSTRUKSHUNS AT ANUTHUR TYME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

H0AP Y00 1NJ0YY MYE RES1PEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A SINDEE LAWPER S0NJ SAYS S0 MUCH

Y00 KNOWE, A L0T 0F TH0AS S0NJS FR0M THE 8O-EES, WYLE POP ORYIENTUD, KARREED REAELLY PR0FOWND MESSAJES W1TH THARE L1RIKUL K0NTENT. 0NE 0F THEM BY 0NE 0F MY FAV0RETT ARTESTS SINDEE LAWPER IS "M0NEEY CHANJUES EVERYTH1NJ" N0WE 1T D0ESENT TAYK A BRANE S00RGUN T0 FOOGURE 0WT WUT THE S0NJ 1S AB0WT. BUT Y00 EVYUR HEER PEEPLE THAT TELL Y00, THAT M0NNEY KANNOT BUY Y00 HAPPIENESSS?!!?!?!?!?!

I KILDNT DISSAGREE M00RE...HEERS WHYE..

1) 1D NEVUR BE HUNGREE AGANE BEKAWSE\1D HAVE ALL THE M0NEEY 1N THE W0RLD T0 EET K0MB0ES ALL DAYE ALL THE TYME. 1'D HAFVE AN 1NFINITE SOPPLLIE. 1D ALS0E EET OTHUR TH1NJS BUT REMEMBYR, ALL THENJS 1N L1FE K0ME BAKK T0 K0MB0ES. HAY KOMBOES CHEEYZE MY H0NGER AWAYE 25/7 PLEEZE. AH, 0NE KAN ONLEE HOAP

I) 1D HAVE EVEN BETTUR THREDS T0 HAVE M00RE SECS W1TH CH1KXS. AS STAYTED BEF0AR, KLOTHUS MAYK THE D00D. ANY0NE THAT TELLS Y00 0THURWYZE HAS N0 GAYME AND PROBBLEE GETS N0 CH1KXS

3) I W1LD HAVE A H0WSE W1TH EVERYEE VIDEY0 GAYM SUISTEM KNONE T0 MANN. TH1S INKL00DS SEGA GENUSIS,. NE0 GE0, APPLE T0 CEE, T0BR0GRAFEX..YOU GET THA DREFT. CH1KXS L1KE GUYES H00 HAVE G00D HAND EYE KOORDINASHUN. MYNE 1S STELLUR AND W1LD BE EVEN MORES0 1F I HAD A L0T M00RE MUNNY.

3) ALTH0UW 1 AM T0TALLEE SATESFYED W1TH MY K0RRENT J0BB, AND 1 KN0WE GREGG 1S T00, 1D BEE ABVEUL TO WAYK UP AT 2PM 1F 1 WANTUD, TAYK GRATE VAKASHUNS AND GAMBUL A L0T. 1 L1KE PLAY1NG KARDS, SOLITAYR 1S MY FAVORET.

1 K1LD G0 0N AND 0N, BUT 1LL SAVE 1T F0R AN0THYUR DAYE.

J0ST A RAND0M THAWTE, AND THE PEEPLE THAT SAYE MUNNY D0ESENT BUYE HAPPENESS..D0NT HAVE ANYEE AFSJDKLASJDKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJKLASDJSKLADJAAKL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!11!!!1!!!!!!

SEKS W1TH CH1XS - PART T00 0F 17641545142278515176

WELL 1 HAVE T0 SAYE, GREGGS T1PS 0N SEKS W1TH CH1XS WAS VERYEE ENLIGHTEN1NJ. MYSELFE, BEENG THE EXPURT THAT 1 EM, EVUN LEENRED SOMET1NJ. GUD WORK GREGG!!!!!! HRHRPRHPRHPHTPTHPTHTPTTHTPH

N0W F0R S0ME 0F MY TYPS 0N TR1YINGJ T0 HAFE SEKS W1TH CH1KKS.

1) ALWAYS BR1NG A KAN 0F POPOOREE EVERYWARE Y00 G0 (TRYAL SIZE) .
HEERS A HYPOTHETIKAUL SITCH00ASHUN. Y00 G0 0WT AND G0TO A BARR AND Y00
AND THE CH1K ARE EET1NG BEENS, TAK0ES, H0T W1NJS AND THE LIKE ..S0METYMES THOAS FUOODS MYTE MAYK Y00 PHART AND THEN Y00 HAVE T0 TAYK A GYNORMUSS KRAP. SHE ASKYS Y00 T0 K0ME BAKK T0 HUR PLASE, BUT Y00 FEEL S0METHENJ BR001NJ 1N THAT ST0MAK. Y00 KN0WE THAT R0MBUL BEF0AR Y00 HAVE T0 G0E. S0 Y00RE N0T G01NJ T0 F0RFET G01NJ BAKK T0 HUR PLASE J0ST BEKAYUSE Y00 G0TTA D0 A N0MBUR 2. WUN Y00 GET DARE, J0ST TELL HUR T0 GET S0METH1JNG 0WT 0F Y00R KAR AND THEN DR0P THE B0MBB 1N THE BATHRUUME. SPRAYE N1SELEE AND GET 1T T0GETHUR. Y00 ARE ALL SETT. 1F SHE ASKYUD WUT THE SMULL 1S, SAYE 1TS Y00R NEW K0L0AN. SHE MYTE EVUN J0MP Y00 RYTE THEN AND THARE. 1TS WORKUD N00MERUSS TYMES. TRUSTT ME

2) MAYK SHOOR Y00 HA1VE GUD MUSIK 1N Y00R KAR AND 1N Y00R L1V1NG KORTURS. I KANT STREYSS TH1S 0NE ENUFF. 1 KN0WE MANYEE PEEPLE ARE F00ULED BY TH0AS STOOPID ASS KOMMERCHIALS WARE THEY SH0WE A FYREPLASE AND SOME S0FT R0CKK 1N THE BAKKGROWND AND THEY HA1VE ARTESTS L1KE ELTUN JOHNE, FEEL KOLL1NS, B1LLEE J0EHL, (MOORE ON HYM LATURD) ETCSETRA. D0NT BOTHYUR W1TH THAT SH1T... AND DONT BELLEEV THE HYPE AS FLAVUR FLAV W1LD SAYE. AAHAHAHAHSJDHJKSADHASJKDHSADHASJKDHSA.
REKOMMENDUD SECSYEE MUS1KK ..OF COURSSS THESE AYRE 0NLEE SUGGUESTY0NS

CHOYSE A - DEF LEPYRD "POOR SUM SUGARR 0N MEE" ...NEFER FAYLS T0 GET THE M00D RYTE

CHOYSE B - SK1D R0WE - "I8 AND L1FE" A KILLUR TOON, 1 ALWYSZ GET AKTION WUN I PLAYE TH1S 0NE.

CHOYSE C - METALL1KA - "0NE" S0CH EMOSHUN AND PASSYION 1N TH1S S0NJ THAT 1T KAN 0NLYEE TRANSLAYT T0 THE BEDRUUOOM

2) CH1XS LIKE D00DS HOO ARE KOMFORTBUL W1TH THE ARTS BUT N0T T00 FR00TY. SOMETYMES 0N A DAYT 1 MAYKE A SUGGUESTYION TO G0T00 A M00SEYM AND 1T W0RKS L1KE A CHARMM. I L1KE ART AND ST0FF, AND 1 LIKE CH1XS HOO LYKE 1T T00. TO BE INTELLECKHUAL AND ALS0E A BADASSE 1S A W1NNINJ KOMBOE . K0MB0ES TAYST GRATE. MY VAVORETE FLAVUR 1S NACHOE CHEEZE. NOT K1D1NG Y00 SH1LD ALS0E BR1NJ KOMBOES TO THE MOOSEYM. 1T CHEEZE Y0R HUNGUR AWAYE. ALS0E N0T K1D1NG.GUD TYMES F0R SH00R. YAH

5) 1F YOO GOTO A MOOVEE, ALWAYS BYE THE TICKKET BUT MAYK HYR PAYE F0R SNAKCS. THAT WAYE, 1F Y00 D0NT GET ANY AKTION, Y00 D1DNT WAYST 34903923940 DOLLLURS 0N RAYSINETS, EMINEMS, D0TTS, CHELEE D0GJS, AND SODAH (PREFUURABLEE COAK). ALS0E, TRY T0 MAYK 0WT W1TH HUR FREKEWNTELEE ..THAT WAYE SHE KN0WES Y00 ARE R0MANTIKK.

5) 0NE M0RE KLOAS1NG THAWTE. AS GREGG SAYD ALWAYZ WARE THE BEST THREDS, B00GLE BOYE JEENS, KAVAREECHEES, AND BUM EKWIPMUNT ARE BRANDZ THATT ST1LL GET THE J0BB D0NE. EVEN TH0W MYNE ARE FR0M I988, 1 STELL WARE THEM ON DAYTS AND THE LADEES ARE ALWAYZ 1MPRESSUD.

I HOAP THESE T1PS HELPP Y00 GET SOME CH1XS. THESE SH00R W0RKE F0R MEE NOT K1D1NG. AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

SEKS W1TH CH1XS - PART 0NE 0F 17641545142278515176

1 HAV AN 1MP00RTINT GUESST10N...D00 Y00 L1KE T0 HAV SEKS W1TH CHIXS!??!!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!? 1F Y00 ARR A D00D, AND YER N0T GAYY, THEN THA ANSSUR 1S PR0BUBLEY YESS. F0R EKZAMPULL, 1 EM 0BVEEUSLEY A D00D (AS PR000F, 1 EM TYPINJ TH1S W1TH MYE WANG), AND 1 EM M0AST DEFIN1TYLEEY N0T GAYY...AND 1 L1KE SEKS W1TH CHIX. A L0TT!!!!! N0WW, 1FF Y00 ARR A CHIKK AND Y00 ARR GAYY, THEN Y00 PR0BUBLEY ALS0E L1KE SEKS W1TH CHIXS, TH0 THA EKSPERI1NSE W1LL BEE SLYTELEY D1FFRINT SINSE Y00 D0NT HAV A WANG. H0WEVUR, WEE HAV SUM K0MMUN GR0WND, S0 REED 0N.

1FF Y00 ARR A STRAYTE CHIKK, 0RR 1F YER A GAYY D00D, THEN PLEEZE SK1P TH1S P0AST. 1TS N0T G0NA MAYKE SENNSE T00 Y00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! S0RREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEER ARR SUM T1PPS Y00 KANN USE T00 HAV M00R SEKS W1TH CHIXS:

1) HANJ 0WT W1TH DRUNKK CHIXS. THAY L1KE SEKS M00R THAN S0BUR CHIXS.

3) WARE N1SE THREDS WEN Y00 TAULK T0 CHIXS. 1 KANNN0T EMFUSSYZE TH1S ENUFF. KL0ATHES MAYKE THA D00D. BRAKE 0WT THA ATE-BAWL JAKKIT 1F Y00 HAV T00.

4) D0NT EVUR H1T A CHIKK. 1 EM VEREY S1RIUS AB0WT TH1S 0NE. TH1S 1S N0T A J0AK. THARE 1S A B1GG DIFRINSSE BITWEEN HITTINJ A CHIK, AND HITTINJ 0NN A CHIK. D0NT MAYKE TH1S MISTAYKE.

4) CH1XS L1KE D00DS H00 ARINT 1MBARRASD BYE THARE 0WNE B0DDILEE FUNKSHUNS. TH1S MAYY S0RPRIZE Y00, BUT 1T 1S TR00. TH1SS W1LL MAYKE Y00 STAND 0WT FRUM THA KR0WD 0F UTHUR LESSS K0NFIDENT D00DS. SUMTYMES A GRATE B1GG PHART W1LL GIT A CHIKKS ATENCHUN. SUMTYMES Y00 MYTE JUST NEED T0 TAYKE A D0MP 0N THA FL000R.

4) CHIXS LUV WANGS. TH1S 1S A FAKT 0F NACHUR. 1F CHIKKS D1D1NT LUV WANGS, THA HY00MIN RASE W00D DYE 0WT, AND THA MASHEENS W00D TAYKE 0VUR, L1KE 1N TURM1NATURD 0RR THA MATRIKS. S0, USE TH1S FAKT T0 YER ADVANT1JE. TELL CHIXS, ESPESHULLEY DRUNK 0NES, THAT Y00 HAV A WANG. TAULK AB0WT THA SYZE AND SHAYPE 0F YER WANG. D0NT BEE AFRAYD T0 SH0WE 1T T00 THEM. ALS0E, PLEEZ N0AT THAT TH1S TIPP W1LL N0T HELPP Y00 1F Y00 ARR A LEZB0E CHIKK. MAYBEE Y0O SH00D GIT A STRAP0NN 0R SUM SH1TT.

4) CH1XS LUV K0MB0ES. 1 EM TAULKIN AB0WT TH0ZE DELISHUSS CHEEZ-FILD PRETSUL SNAKS. 0NE DAYY 1 WUZ AT THA KWIKCHEK AND 1 BAWT A SAK 0F NATCH0E CHEEZ K0MB0ZE. 1 ATE THEM AND THAY WUR REEL GUD. THEN THAT NYTE 1 WENT TO0 A BARR AND HUNJ 0WT W1TH TH1S DRUNK H0EBAGG NAYMED SARUH, 0RR LEESA, 0RR NANSEY 0R SUMTHUIN. AND WEE HAD SEKS LATURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALS0E TH1S T1P WERKS BETTUR 1F THA CHIKK 1S DRUNKK.

4) CHEDDUR CHEEZ KRAKKUR FLAYVURD K0MB0ES SUKK ELEFUNT WANG. SIRIUSLEY, THAY ARR H0RRIBULL. N0T K1D1NJ.

4) 1 0NSE AYTE S0 MANEY PEETZZA FLAYVURD K0MB0SE THAT 1 SH1T 0RANJE F0RR L1KE A WEEKE. 1T WUZ K1ND 0F K00L, BUT ALS0E K1ND 0F N0T K00L.

1 H0AP Y00 LURNED SUMTHIN. E-R0KK W1LL TELL Y00 M00R AB0WT SEKS W1TH CHIXS, BEKAWSE HEE 1S AN EKSPURT.

THA REEL TR00TH AB0WT DAYTYME TEEVEE

0KAYE TONYTE 1 FEEL L1KE TELLINJ LYKE 1T 1S..N0T THAT 1 EVUR D0N'T BUT Y00 GET MYE DREFT AND 1F Y00 D0N'T, WULL REED ANYWAYE..AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.
1TS N0 SH0KKUR BUT WEEKDAY DAYTYME TEE VEE HAS DEV0LVEUD 1NT0 S0ME 0F THE W0RST SH1T EVUR. LYKE WATCH1NJ IT 1 FEEAL 3948W3098432109 PERSUNT D0MBUR..N0T K1D1NG. TAKE F0R INSTANSE J0DGE J00DY, J0DGE HATCHYETT, J0DGE WHOEVUR THE ELSS F0K1NG FEEALS L1KE JUDJINJ AND Y 00 HAVE HALVE THA TYME SL0TS F1LLED. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. S0 1F 1 EVUR D0NT G0T0 WORK, 1 RARLEE PUT 0 N THE TEVEE OR AT LEEST 2,4,5,8,IO 0R WHUTUVR CHANNULS Y00 D0NT PAYE F0R..THPTHPTHPHTPHTPTHTPHTPTHPTPTPTHHP..SORRE GASS, THATS WUT HAPPEUNS WUN 1 THENK OF KRAP (NO PUN 1NTENDED) L1KE THE TYRA BANKCKS SH0WE AND MOOREE POVECH..WUT HAPPOENED MOOREE???!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?, A KURRENT AFFARE WAS KWALITY PROGRAMMINJ AHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA..
1 PERSONALLY M1SS J0DGE WHOPPER AND D0G L0OOELEN..
"1N 0WR F0RUEMM, THE PEEPLES K0RT!!!!!" AHHAHAHAHSHDKASDHAKSJHDJKSADHSADHSAKJDHSAJKDHASHDASKJDASHKJDJSAHDKJSAHDKJASHDKJSAHDSKJADHKJAS

A GUD ST00REY F0R Y00

TH1S BL0J 1S MANNEY THINJS T0 MANNEY PEEPUL. SUM LURN VEREY 1MP00RTINT LYFE LESUNS HEER. UTHURS CHEKK 1T 0WT F00R ENTURTAYNM1NT PURPUSSES. TH1S P0AST 1S F0RR THA PEEPUL 1N THAT SEKUND GR00P***. S0 INJ0YY.

0NSE THARE WUZ TH1S D00D H00 L1VD 1N SUM F0KKD UP FARAWAYY LAND W1TH DRAGUNS AND ALL THAT SH1TT. 1T WUZ L1KE L00RD 0F THA RINGZ, 0R THA DUNJINS AND DRAGUNZ KART00N. THAT WUZ A GRATE F0KKINJ KART00N, TH0 THA WIZURD K1DD WUZ A PUSSEY. S0 YAH, TH1S D00D LIVD W1TH FR0D0E AND ALL TH0ZE F0KKURZ. ALSOE THARE WUR SMERPHS. 1 ALLWAYZ THAWT THA SMERPHS WUR PRITTEY K00L, TH0 BRAYNEY WUZ A REEL D1KK!!!!!!!! HEE WUZINT BRAYNEY AT ALL, D1SPYTE THA NAYME. 1 TH1NK THAT F0KKUR K00D LERN A THINJ 00R T00 FRUM TH1S BL0J!!!!!!!! BRAYNEY SMERPH, Y00 F0KKINJ SUN 0F A B1TCH, G0 T0 HELLL Y00 SHITTEY F0KKINJ SHITF0KK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WUT A T000L.

ALS0E, T00L 1S A GRAYTE BANDD.

THA ENDD.



*** Y00 THAWT Y00 WUR JUST G0NNA GIT 1NTURTAYNED, B1TCH, BUT 1 TAWT Y00 SUMTHIN TOO, RYTE??!!?!?!??!??!?!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? Y00 LERNED SUMTHIN AGENST YUER WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAGAGAJFGAGKAFGAFGAAAAFGKAAFGAFAFKFAAFAFKAAFGAFGKAGHKAA

A LITTUL M00RE AB0WT MUSI1KK...

1 D0 AGREE W1TH GREGG HEER THAT DARE ARR A L0T 0F SH1TTY F0CK1NG BANDSS 0WT DARE. 1 ALS0E AGREE THAT KWIET RIOTT AND TW1STUD SISTUR ARE T00 0F THE M0ST ROKKING BANNDS 0N THE PLANUT. "WEER N0T G0NNA TAYK 1T" 1S TR00LEE A HARD R0KK ANTHUM 1F 1VE EVUR HEERD 0NE. 1 ALS0 UTT0RLLEE D1SL1KE SELEENEE DY0N. A LITTUL ST0REE, 0NE DAY AT W0RK A F00 YEERS AG0E, GREGG WAS W1TNUSS T0 THE ANGYR THAT SELEENE KAN KAWSE ME. A W0MAN THAT WE YEWSED T0 W0RK W1TH BRAWTE 1N A SEE DEE SINGUL F0R 0NE 0F HUR (S)H1TS AND SHE M0ST HAVE PLAYED 1T 348930483908439084902380239802938902 TYMES. SHE STARTUD T0 PLAYE 1T AGANE AFTER THATT AND 1 G0T UP FR0M MY CHARE AND 1 ALM0ST HURLED THE SEE DEE AKR0SS THE 0FF1SSS. N0T K1D1NG. 1T WAS KWYTE A SYTE AND THE W0MUN ALM0ST HAD A HART ATTAKK. ALS0E N0T K1D1NG. 1T WAS L0WD T00, AHSDASJDHASJKDHSDHASJKHDASJKDHASJKDHASJKAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
S0 THE POYNT 1S, SLEEEN DEY0N S0CKS ...A L0TT..S0 Y00 SH1LDNT LI1STYN T0 HUR..
ALS0E N0T K1D1NG ..AHDASJHDASJKDHASHASDSDHKASDHKAHAHHKASAHKAHKAHK
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GUD MY00S1K AND BADD MY00SIK

0KAYY N0WW 1 WUNT T00 P0AST AB0WT MY00SIK. THARE ARR GUD BANDS AND BADD BANDS 1N THA WERLD. PURHAPS Y00 HAV N0T1SSED TH1SS. F0R EGZAMPULL, DAYVE AMTHY00Z BAND 1S A REELEE H0RRIBULL SHITTEE F0KKINJ BANDD THAT SUKS D0NKEE BAWLZ. ALS0E KREED. ALS0E H00TEE AN THA BL0AF1SCH. ALS0E JENESISS, BEKAWSE FILL K0LLINZ 1S A D00SHBAGG. ALS0E MACHB0KS TWENETEEY. ALS0E NIKULBAK. ALS0E THURD 1 BL1ND. 1 K00D KUNTINY00.

0N THA FL1P SYDE, KWYET R10T WUZ A GRATE F0KKINJ BAND. SUMTYMES 1 HEER METUL HELTH AND 1 AKSH00ALY G0 BANJ MY HED 0N SH1T AND THAT GITS ME T0TULLEY FYRED UPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN 1 USUALLEY GIT A REELEE BADD HEDAYKE AND BLEED FRUM MY EERZ. AAAGHAGHAAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAJAHGAFJADADJAJADSSASAAGHAGHADJHGAAFAGAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

S0 YAH...1 REELEE H0AP Y00 LERNED SUMTHINJ HEER T0DAYY. R0KK 0N B1TCHEZ!!!1!1111!!!!!!!

N0WW ERIKK W1LL TEETCH Y00 SUM M00R GUD THINJS AB0WT S0NJS. HEE 1S AN EKSPURT 1N MANNY K1NDS 0F MY00SIK!!! ALS0E VIDEY0 GAYMS. AND M00VEES. AND DAYTINJ. N0T K1D1NJ.

YAH, TH1S 1S THE BEST BLOGG Y00 W1LL EVUR SEE, MAKE N0 MISTAYK AB0WT THATT.!!!!!!!!! STAYE T00NUD F0R TR00 1NSYTES 0N LIFE, LUVE AND EVERYTH1NJ ELSS UNDER THE SUN!!!!!!!!!! AHHSHDADHASKDHASDHKASDHASJKDH, N0T K1D1NG ....ADHDJAHASDJKKDHAS............ THPTTHTPHTPTHPTHTPTHTTPTTHPTHTTP OOPS...SORREEE BADD GASSS..HOAP THAT D0ESNT SMELL T00 BADD

1TS 0N

HAY EVEREYB0DDEY WELLKUM T00 THA GRATIST G0DDAM F0KKINJ BL0J THA WERLD HAS EVUR SEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ. WEE W1LL SIRISULEY BL0WW YER M1ND. ALS0 N0T K1D1NJ.