HAY S00PURBL0J FANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I EM S0RREE 1T HAS BIN S0 F0KKING L0NJ SINSE MY LAST P0AST. A L0T 0F BAD SH1T WENT D0UN AT THANXGIVINJ. 1T WAS BAD, BUT 1T WUZ ALS0E GUD. PLEEZ ALL0UW MEE T00 EKSPLANE.
1F Y00 RIMEMBUR, THANXGIVINJ WUZ 0N A TH0RSDAYE. SUMTYME 1N N0VEMBUR. 1 HAV ALLWAYZ FELLT THAT 1T 1S A VEREY, VEREY, VEREY SPESHUL H0LLIDAYE, BEKAWSE 1T GIVS US ALL A CHANSE T00 RIMEMBUR ALL THA GUD SH1T THAT HAPPIND T00 US 0VUR THA PAST YEER. L1KE, THAT TYME 1 F0WND A HAFF EMPTEY B0TTUL 0F 0ALD EE 1N A PAPUR BAGG 1N THA PARK. THAT DAYY, 1T WUZ L1KE G0DD H1MSELLF WUZ L1KE, "GREGG, Y00 ARR T0TULLEY MY BR0."
S0, TH1S THANXGIVINJ 1 WUZ SITTIN AR0WND, RIMEMBUR1NJ THA GUD ST0FF L1KE THA B0TTUL OF 0ALD EE, AND ANUTHUR TYME WEN 1 F0WND 0WT TH1S CHIK 1 HAD SEKS W1TH DIDNT HAV HURPEEZ, BUT JUST JENITUL W0RTS (N0T K1D1NJ). T00 HELP MEE RIMEMBUR ST0FF, 1 NOKKED BAK A FYEW V0DKUH SH0TS (1 HAV ALLWAYZ F0WND THAT DRINKINJ 1MPR00VES MY MEMUREY). AND THENA FYEW M00R. 1 F1N1SHD THA B0TTUL AND WENT 1NT00 MY FRIDJE F0R A B0TTUL 0F 0ALD EE. BUT QUESS WUT!?!?!?! 1 WUZ 0WT 0F 0ALD EE!!!!?!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ. 1 HAD T00 D00 SUMTHIN AB0WT TH1S TERRIBULL S1TCHUASHUN.
THA KL0ASEST PLASE THAT S0ALD 0ALD EE WUZ TH1S LIKKER ST00R AB0WT F00R BL0KKS FRUM MY H0WSE. 1 PR0BUBLEY K00D HAV WAULKED 1T, BUT AFTUR ALL THA V0DKUH 1 WUZ HAVINJ TRUBBLE STAYINJ 0N MY FEAT. N0WW, LET ME JUST SAYY THAT DRINKIN AND DRYVINJ 1S BADD. 1T 1S A BADD THINJ, BEKAWSE 1T 1S HARD T0 RIMEMBUR WARE Y00 ARR G01N, AND 1TS EEZEY T0 GIT L0ST. BUT TH1S 0NE TYME, 1 NEADED 0ALD EE S0 BADD, 1 WUZ JUST L1KE, F0KK 1T!!!!!!!!!!!%!!!!!!!! S0 1 JUMPD 1N MY KARR AND SPEDD 0FF.
1 MAYDE 1T AB0WT A BL0KK, B0WNSINJ 0FF SUM KERBS AND KARZ AND SH1T, N0 B1G DEEL. THEN ALL 0F A SUDIN 1 SAWW SUM FLASHIN BIHIND MEE. 1T WUZ THA FUZZ!!@^&!! N0T K1D1NJ!&!%%&!! S0 1 WUZ L1KE, HAY, MAYBEE TH1S D00D JUST L1KES T00 FLASCH H1S LYTES F0R FUNN. S0 1 DR0AVE ANUTHUR BL0K, H1T1N SUM MAYLB0KSES AND K1DZ OR WUTEVUR, AND THEN THA DIKHED K0P GITS 0N H1S BULLH00RN AND 1S ALL L1KE, PULL 0VUR 0RR 1 W1LL SHEWT Y00 1N THA FASE!!!! TH1S 1S N0T A DIREKT KW0TE BUT TH1S WUZ BASIKALLEY WUT HEE WUZ SAYIN. S0, L1KE AN ASSHAT 1 PULLD 0VUR. DIKHED K0P GITS 0WT AND ASKS MEE 1F 1 HAV BIN DRINKIN. 1 TELL H1M JUST A LITTUL, BAYRELEY ANYTHINJ - WICH WUZ TR00, K0NS1D1RINJ 1 USUALLEY DRINK L1KE 127641276 TYMES WUT 1 HAD THAT NYTE. BUT G1T TH1SS!!! HE WUZ L1KE, 1 THINK Y00 ARR A DRUNK ASS MUTHURFUKKUR!!! ALS0E N0T A DIREKT KW0AT. S0 HE MAYKES MEE TAYKE A BRETHALYZUR TESST AND 1 GIT L1KE A 263218348127, WICH 1 THAWT WUZ PRITTEY GUD, BUT APARINTLEY W1TH TH1S TESST, THA HYUR THA NUMBUR, THA WURSE Y00 D1D!!!!! 1 WUZ ALLWAYZ BAD AT SIENSE.
S0 HEER 1S THA PART Y00 ARR N0T G0NNA BELEAVE - D00D SEZ 1 HAV B1N DR0NK DRYVIN!!!!! 1 MEEN, WUT THA F0KK?!?!? WERSE, HEE SED HEE WUZ G0NNA 1MP0WND MY SWEEAT RYDE!!!!! 1 WUZ L1KE, WUT THA F0KK D1D 1 D00 T0 D1ZURVE TH1S?!?!?!
S0 A T0W TRUKK KAME T00 TAYKE MY AWSUM KARR T00 THA 1MP0WND L0T, AND 1 WAULKED H0AM. AS 1F TH1S STAYTE 0F AFFAYRZ WUZINT BAD ENUFF - 1 ST1LL D1D1NT HAV ANNY 0ALD EE!!!!!!!!!!! S0 1 ST0AL MY NAYBURS KARR (1 JUST BR0AK 1NT0 H1S H0WSE AND TUK THA KEYZ) AND HEDD1D BAK T0 THA LIKKUR ST00R. MY NAYBUR DRYVES A REEL SHITTEY KARR, TH1S T0TULLEY LAYME T0Y0TUH W1TH0WT ANNY P00RN 0R GAYME SISTUMS 0R K0MB0ZE 1N 1T, BUT 1 WUZ N0T G0NNA BEE DENYDE.
HEERS WARE A KRAZEY ST0REY GITS EVIN KRAZEYER. 1 MEEN, Y00 HEER AB0WT KRAZEY K01NSIDENSES HAPININJ SUMTYMES, L1KE Y00 HAV SEKS W1TH SUM CHIK AND THEN F1ND 0WT LATUR SHEE WUZINT AKSH00ALEY K0NSHUSS AT THA TYME. BUT TH1S WUZ BIY0ND THAT. WAYY BIY0ND THAT. 1 HAD 0NLEY DRIVIN A BL0KK, 0VUR SUM LAWNZ AND A KUPPUL 0F OALD PEEPUL - AND SUDDINLEY 1N MY MEERUR, 1 SEA THAT SAYME F0KKINJ K0PP. TH1S TYME HE DUZINT EGZAKTLEY PULL MEE 0VUR - HEE SWURVES 1N FRUNT 0F MY KARR AND TRYES T00 BL0KK MEEE, BUT 0F K00RSE 1 DRYVE RYTE 1NT00 H1M. HEE G1TS 0WT 0F THA KAR, AND WAREAZ HEE WUZ K1ND 0F A D1KK THA FERST TYME, HEE WUZ, L1KE, T0TULLEY AN ASSH0AL TH1S TYME. HEE W1PS 0WT H1S GUN, PULLZ MEE 0WTTA THA KARR, AND THR0WZ MEE 0N THA GR0WND. T0TULL DIKK M00VE. THEN HEE THR0WZ MEE 1N THA BAK 0F H1S SMASH-UPP KARR, ALL RUFF L1KE. 1TS 0KAYY TH0, 1 G0T BAK AT H1M BY PISSINJ AND SHITTINJ 1N THA BAKSEET. JURK.
S0, ANYWAYY, APARINTLEY 1N TH1S LITTUL ADVENCHUR 1 D1D A B0NCH 0F 1LEAGULL ST0FF. 1 D0NT KN0WE ALL THA DETAYLZ (HAY, 1 NEVUR KLAYMED T00 BEE A L0YUR), BUT SUP0ZEDLEY 1 KAWZED L1KE $2835131245234512735126347612 1N PR0PURTEY DAMAJE AND HERT L1KE A H0NDRID PEEPUL. THAY PUT MEE IN JAYLE, AND AFTUR A WYLE SUM L0YUR KAYME T00 TAULK T00 MEE. AFTUR WE HAD A LITTUL CHAT, HE SED HEE WUZ PRITTEY SHUR HEE K00D GIT MEE 0WT 0F JAYLE BEKAWZE 1 WUZ KRAZEY!!!!!!!!!!&*!!! 1 SED HAY MAN, THATS K00L, G0 F0R 1T. LITTUL D1D 1 KN0WE THAT MENT 1 W00D BE L0KKED UP 1N A NUT H0WSE F0R A KUPPUL 0F MUNTHS!!!!!! 1T SUKKED. 1'LL P0AST AB0WT THA NUTH0WSE ANUTHUR DAYY, BUT 1T WUZ DEFIN1TLEY A L0WE P0YNT 1N MY LYFE...N0 0ALD EE, N0 K0MB0ZE, SMELLEE KRAZEY PEEPUL EVREYWARE...AND N0 INTURDNET (S0, N0 S00PURBL0J!!!!). EVENCHUALLEY THA D0KTURDS LET MEE 0WT, AND HEER 1 EM.
1 KN0WE S00PURBL0J FANZ, Y00 HAV HAD A HARD TYME GITTIN THR00 YER DAYZ WITH0WT MEE. BUT D0NT WURREY. 1 EM BAK, BETTUR THEN EVUR. EVRYTHINJS G0NNA BEE DIFFRINT N0WW. MY REFRIDJERATUR WILL ALLWAYZ BE FULLEE ST0KKED W1TH 0ALD EE. N0T K1D1NJ. AND 1F, F0R WUTEVUR REEZUN, 1 HAV BIN DRINKIN AND NEAD T0 G0 SUMWARE - 1 W1LL N0T JUMP 1N MY KARR. 1 EM G0NNA BYE A M0TURDSYKLE JUST F0R THEEZ 0KKAS10NS. N0T K1D1NJ.
1F Y00 RIMEMBUR, THANXGIVINJ WUZ 0N A TH0RSDAYE. SUMTYME 1N N0VEMBUR. 1 HAV ALLWAYZ FELLT THAT 1T 1S A VEREY, VEREY, VEREY SPESHUL H0LLIDAYE, BEKAWSE 1T GIVS US ALL A CHANSE T00 RIMEMBUR ALL THA GUD SH1T THAT HAPPIND T00 US 0VUR THA PAST YEER. L1KE, THAT TYME 1 F0WND A HAFF EMPTEY B0TTUL 0F 0ALD EE 1N A PAPUR BAGG 1N THA PARK. THAT DAYY, 1T WUZ L1KE G0DD H1MSELLF WUZ L1KE, "GREGG, Y00 ARR T0TULLEY MY BR0."
S0, TH1S THANXGIVINJ 1 WUZ SITTIN AR0WND, RIMEMBUR1NJ THA GUD ST0FF L1KE THA B0TTUL OF 0ALD EE, AND ANUTHUR TYME WEN 1 F0WND 0WT TH1S CHIK 1 HAD SEKS W1TH DIDNT HAV HURPEEZ, BUT JUST JENITUL W0RTS (N0T K1D1NJ). T00 HELP MEE RIMEMBUR ST0FF, 1 NOKKED BAK A FYEW V0DKUH SH0TS (1 HAV ALLWAYZ F0WND THAT DRINKINJ 1MPR00VES MY MEMUREY). AND THENA FYEW M00R. 1 F1N1SHD THA B0TTUL AND WENT 1NT00 MY FRIDJE F0R A B0TTUL 0F 0ALD EE. BUT QUESS WUT!?!?!?! 1 WUZ 0WT 0F 0ALD EE!!!!?!!!!!!! N0T K1D1NJ. 1 HAD T00 D00 SUMTHIN AB0WT TH1S TERRIBULL S1TCHUASHUN.
THA KL0ASEST PLASE THAT S0ALD 0ALD EE WUZ TH1S LIKKER ST00R AB0WT F00R BL0KKS FRUM MY H0WSE. 1 PR0BUBLEY K00D HAV WAULKED 1T, BUT AFTUR ALL THA V0DKUH 1 WUZ HAVINJ TRUBBLE STAYINJ 0N MY FEAT. N0WW, LET ME JUST SAYY THAT DRINKIN AND DRYVINJ 1S BADD. 1T 1S A BADD THINJ, BEKAWSE 1T 1S HARD T0 RIMEMBUR WARE Y00 ARR G01N, AND 1TS EEZEY T0 GIT L0ST. BUT TH1S 0NE TYME, 1 NEADED 0ALD EE S0 BADD, 1 WUZ JUST L1KE, F0KK 1T!!!!!!!!!!!%!!!!!!!! S0 1 JUMPD 1N MY KARR AND SPEDD 0FF.
1 MAYDE 1T AB0WT A BL0KK, B0WNSINJ 0FF SUM KERBS AND KARZ AND SH1T, N0 B1G DEEL. THEN ALL 0F A SUDIN 1 SAWW SUM FLASHIN BIHIND MEE. 1T WUZ THA FUZZ!!@^&!! N0T K1D1NJ!&!%%&!! S0 1 WUZ L1KE, HAY, MAYBEE TH1S D00D JUST L1KES T00 FLASCH H1S LYTES F0R FUNN. S0 1 DR0AVE ANUTHUR BL0K, H1T1N SUM MAYLB0KSES AND K1DZ OR WUTEVUR, AND THEN THA DIKHED K0P GITS 0N H1S BULLH00RN AND 1S ALL L1KE, PULL 0VUR 0RR 1 W1LL SHEWT Y00 1N THA FASE!!!! TH1S 1S N0T A DIREKT KW0TE BUT TH1S WUZ BASIKALLEY WUT HEE WUZ SAYIN. S0, L1KE AN ASSHAT 1 PULLD 0VUR. DIKHED K0P GITS 0WT AND ASKS MEE 1F 1 HAV BIN DRINKIN. 1 TELL H1M JUST A LITTUL, BAYRELEY ANYTHINJ - WICH WUZ TR00, K0NS1D1RINJ 1 USUALLEY DRINK L1KE 127641276 TYMES WUT 1 HAD THAT NYTE. BUT G1T TH1SS!!! HE WUZ L1KE, 1 THINK Y00 ARR A DRUNK ASS MUTHURFUKKUR!!! ALS0E N0T A DIREKT KW0AT. S0 HE MAYKES MEE TAYKE A BRETHALYZUR TESST AND 1 GIT L1KE A 263218348127, WICH 1 THAWT WUZ PRITTEY GUD, BUT APARINTLEY W1TH TH1S TESST, THA HYUR THA NUMBUR, THA WURSE Y00 D1D!!!!! 1 WUZ ALLWAYZ BAD AT SIENSE.
S0 HEER 1S THA PART Y00 ARR N0T G0NNA BELEAVE - D00D SEZ 1 HAV B1N DR0NK DRYVIN!!!!! 1 MEEN, WUT THA F0KK?!?!? WERSE, HEE SED HEE WUZ G0NNA 1MP0WND MY SWEEAT RYDE!!!!! 1 WUZ L1KE, WUT THA F0KK D1D 1 D00 T0 D1ZURVE TH1S?!?!?!
S0 A T0W TRUKK KAME T00 TAYKE MY AWSUM KARR T00 THA 1MP0WND L0T, AND 1 WAULKED H0AM. AS 1F TH1S STAYTE 0F AFFAYRZ WUZINT BAD ENUFF - 1 ST1LL D1D1NT HAV ANNY 0ALD EE!!!!!!!!!!! S0 1 ST0AL MY NAYBURS KARR (1 JUST BR0AK 1NT0 H1S H0WSE AND TUK THA KEYZ) AND HEDD1D BAK T0 THA LIKKUR ST00R. MY NAYBUR DRYVES A REEL SHITTEY KARR, TH1S T0TULLEY LAYME T0Y0TUH W1TH0WT ANNY P00RN 0R GAYME SISTUMS 0R K0MB0ZE 1N 1T, BUT 1 WUZ N0T G0NNA BEE DENYDE.
HEERS WARE A KRAZEY ST0REY GITS EVIN KRAZEYER. 1 MEEN, Y00 HEER AB0WT KRAZEY K01NSIDENSES HAPININJ SUMTYMES, L1KE Y00 HAV SEKS W1TH SUM CHIK AND THEN F1ND 0WT LATUR SHEE WUZINT AKSH00ALEY K0NSHUSS AT THA TYME. BUT TH1S WUZ BIY0ND THAT. WAYY BIY0ND THAT. 1 HAD 0NLEY DRIVIN A BL0KK, 0VUR SUM LAWNZ AND A KUPPUL 0F OALD PEEPUL - AND SUDDINLEY 1N MY MEERUR, 1 SEA THAT SAYME F0KKINJ K0PP. TH1S TYME HE DUZINT EGZAKTLEY PULL MEE 0VUR - HEE SWURVES 1N FRUNT 0F MY KARR AND TRYES T00 BL0KK MEEE, BUT 0F K00RSE 1 DRYVE RYTE 1NT00 H1M. HEE G1TS 0WT 0F THA KAR, AND WAREAZ HEE WUZ K1ND 0F A D1KK THA FERST TYME, HEE WUZ, L1KE, T0TULLEY AN ASSH0AL TH1S TYME. HEE W1PS 0WT H1S GUN, PULLZ MEE 0WTTA THA KARR, AND THR0WZ MEE 0N THA GR0WND. T0TULL DIKK M00VE. THEN HEE THR0WZ MEE 1N THA BAK 0F H1S SMASH-UPP KARR, ALL RUFF L1KE. 1TS 0KAYY TH0, 1 G0T BAK AT H1M BY PISSINJ AND SHITTINJ 1N THA BAKSEET. JURK.
S0, ANYWAYY, APARINTLEY 1N TH1S LITTUL ADVENCHUR 1 D1D A B0NCH 0F 1LEAGULL ST0FF. 1 D0NT KN0WE ALL THA DETAYLZ (HAY, 1 NEVUR KLAYMED T00 BEE A L0YUR), BUT SUP0ZEDLEY 1 KAWZED L1KE $2835131245234512735126347612 1N PR0PURTEY DAMAJE AND HERT L1KE A H0NDRID PEEPUL. THAY PUT MEE IN JAYLE, AND AFTUR A WYLE SUM L0YUR KAYME T00 TAULK T00 MEE. AFTUR WE HAD A LITTUL CHAT, HE SED HEE WUZ PRITTEY SHUR HEE K00D GIT MEE 0WT 0F JAYLE BEKAWZE 1 WUZ KRAZEY!!!!!!!!!!&*!!! 1 SED HAY MAN, THATS K00L, G0 F0R 1T. LITTUL D1D 1 KN0WE THAT MENT 1 W00D BE L0KKED UP 1N A NUT H0WSE F0R A KUPPUL 0F MUNTHS!!!!!! 1T SUKKED. 1'LL P0AST AB0WT THA NUTH0WSE ANUTHUR DAYY, BUT 1T WUZ DEFIN1TLEY A L0WE P0YNT 1N MY LYFE...N0 0ALD EE, N0 K0MB0ZE, SMELLEE KRAZEY PEEPUL EVREYWARE...AND N0 INTURDNET (S0, N0 S00PURBL0J!!!!). EVENCHUALLEY THA D0KTURDS LET MEE 0WT, AND HEER 1 EM.
1 KN0WE S00PURBL0J FANZ, Y00 HAV HAD A HARD TYME GITTIN THR00 YER DAYZ WITH0WT MEE. BUT D0NT WURREY. 1 EM BAK, BETTUR THEN EVUR. EVRYTHINJS G0NNA BEE DIFFRINT N0WW. MY REFRIDJERATUR WILL ALLWAYZ BE FULLEE ST0KKED W1TH 0ALD EE. N0T K1D1NJ. AND 1F, F0R WUTEVUR REEZUN, 1 HAV BIN DRINKIN AND NEAD T0 G0 SUMWARE - 1 W1LL N0T JUMP 1N MY KARR. 1 EM G0NNA BYE A M0TURDSYKLE JUST F0R THEEZ 0KKAS10NS. N0T K1D1NJ.
2 comments:
D00D 1TS GRATE T0 HEER FR0M Y00, 1 N00 Y00 WUR G0ENJ THR00 HARD TYMES, BUT 0LD D00RS KL0AS AND N00 0NES OPEN Y00 KNOWE ALM0AST L1KE 0LD EE. Y00 F1NISH 0NE, POP OPUN ANOTHURD, SAME TH1NJ FOR K0MB0EZ. LYFE 1S AB0WT EGSPERYENSE D00D..G00D AND BAD..AHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA
Y00 ARR 0NE WYZE M0THURF0KKKUR, E-R0KK. THANX F0R YER WERDS 0F ENKURAGEMINT. Y00 HAV 1NSPYRED MEE T00 DRINK A FYEW 0ALD EES. 1 W1LL HAV FYVE 0R SIKS IN YER H0NNUR. N0T K1D1NJ.
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