HAY EVERYB0DDEEY. T0DAYY 1 EM G0NNA TAULK AB0WT P0L1T1X. EVUR S1NSE MY RUN-1NN W1TH THA LAWW, 1 HAV B1N TH1NKIN A L0TT AB0WT 0WR GRATE KUNTREY, AND MY R0AL 1N 1T. TH1S 1S ST0FF 1 HAV NEVUR REELEE K0NSIDURD BEF00R. 1 V0ATED 1N THA LAST ELEKSHUN, BUT 0NLEY BEKAWZE THA V0TUR REJISTRASHUN CHIK WUZ H0T, AND T0ALD MEE THAT V0ATINJ WUZ L1KE PLAYIN A REELEE K00L VIDEY0 GAYME (W1CH, BY THA WAYY, 1S T0TULLEY N0T TR00 - 1 PRESSD SUM BUTUNZ BUT 1T WUZINT ANNY FUN AT ALL). BUT W1TH THA NEKST ELEKSHUN K0MINJ UPP F0R PREZIDENT 1 EM AKSH00ALEY G0NNA PIK A KANDIDIT, AND THEN 1 W1LL V0AT F0R THEMM.
A LITTUL HISTUREY: 0WR KUNTREY WUZ F0WNDED A FYEW TH0WZIND YEERZ AG0E 0N THA IDEYA 0F H0ALDINJ ELEKSHUNS. N0B0DEE HAD HURD 0F AN ELEKSHUN BEF00R TH1S. THA WERD WUZINT EVIN 1N THA DIKSHUNAREY. WEN 0WR F00R FATHURS (D00DS L1KE WASHINGTUN, KENEDEY, JEEZUS, AND D1ZNEEY) R0AT THA DEKLARASHUN 0F K0NST1T00SHUN (WICH 1S L1KE THA B1BULL, BUT LESS RILIJUSS), THAY DES1DED THAT THA PEEPUL W00D GIT T00GETHUR AND DESYDE H00 W00D MAYKE THA LAWZ AND ST0FF. AND TH1S PURSUN W00D ALS0E GIT THA M0AST CHIKS, AND W00D GIT LAYED ALL THA FREEKIN TYME. TH1S PART WUZ N0T RITTIN D0UN, BUT 1T WUZ UNDURSTUD.
S0 N0WW, T0DAYY, WEE V0AT F0R 0WR LEEDURZ. THA M0AST 1MP00RTINT LEEDUR 1S THA PREZIDENT. TH1S 1S A D00D H00 1S L1KE THA KING 0F THA UNYTID STAYTES, AND HEE 1S A T0TULL PLAYUR. THA KURINT PREZIDENT 1S K1ND 0F A DIKWADD, BUT THA LAST D00D, B1LL KLINGON, WUZ T0TULLEY K00L. HEE G0T CHIKS LEFT AND RYTE. HE EVIN PUT A SIGAR UP SUM CHIKS K00CH!!!!! 1 TOTULLEY RISPEKTED PREZIDENT KL1NG0N.
TH1S TYME WEE HAV A B0NCH 0F D00DS RUNNINJ F0R THA PREZIDENT G1GG. THAY ARR BR0AKIN 1NT00 T00 0F THA LAMEST PARTEEZ EVUR: THA DUM0KRATS AND THA RETURDLIKANS. 1 D0NT EVIN KN0WE WYE THAY ARR KALLED PARTEEZ, BEKAWSE FRUM WUT 1 CAN SEA, THAY ARR N0 FUNN. N0 0ALD EE, N0 K0MB0ZE, N0T THAT MANEY CHIKS. SHITTEY PARTEEZ.
ANNWYAYY, THA RETUDLIKAN KANIDATES ARR ALL 0ALD WYTE GYEZ, N0T K00L AT ALL. THA KURINT PREZIDENT 1S AN 0ALD WYTE RETUDLIKUN, AND HEE 1S A T0TULL ASSHAT. 1 W1LLL N0T V0AT F0R 0ALD WYTE RETUDLIKANS!!! TH1S 1S MY RYTE AS AN AMERIKUN. 0N THA UTHUR HAND, THA DUM0KRATS HAV A KUPPUL 0F 1NTURETINJ KANIDATES. FERST 1S HILUREY KL1NG0N. SHEE 1S B1LL KL1NG0NS MUTHUR, AND 1F SHEE WINZ, WEE W1LL SEA B1LL BAK 1N THA N00Z ALL THA TYME. TH1S 1S GUD, BEKAWSE HEE 1S A TOTULLEY K00L D00D. H0WEVUR, 1NSPYTE 0F TH1S, 1 D00 N0T TH1NK 1 EM G0NNA V0AT F0R HILUREY. SHEE 1S T0TULLEY N0T H0TT, N0T AT ALL. SHE LUKS L1KE MY UNKLE HARULD, BUT W1TH SAGGEE T1TS. AND SHEE HAS T00 BEE L1KE 15O YEERZ 0ALD. REELEE N0T MY TYPE.
THA UTHUR 1NTURESTINJ DUM0KRAT 1S A D00D NAYMED 1RAK 0SAMA. 0NE THINJ TH1S D00D HAS G01N F0R H1M 1S NAYME REK0GNISHUN, AS B0THE HIS FURST NAYME AND LAST NAYME ARR THINJS THAT ARR APARINTELY 1N THA N00Z, F0R SUM REEZUN. ALS0E, HE 1S A BRUTHUR. TH1S 1S Y00NEEK. WEE HAV N0T HAD A BRUTHUR BEK0ME PREZIDENT S1NSE MYKUL JAKSUN BAK 1N THA 8O"S. AND HEE WUZ 0NE WEERD MUTHURF0KKUR. 0SAMA SEAMS L1KE A PRITTEY K00L D00D. WEN HEE GIVS SPEETCHES HEE USES A L0T 0F B1G WERDS, AND HEE REELEE SEAMS T00 MEEN WUT HE SEZ. WUTEVUR THAT 1S. PLUS HE KAN PR0BUBLEY DANSE, W1CH 1S 1MP00RTINT 1N A PREZIDENT.
S0 1 EM ANN0UNSINJ T0DAYY THAT 1RAK 0SAMA HAS THA GREGG SEEL 0F APPR00VUL. WEN Y00 V0AT, V0AT F0R 0SAMA. 1F HEE 1S ELEKTED PREZIDENT, Y00 KAN LUK F00RWERD T00 A KUNTREY W1TH A L0T 0F DANSINJ, AND K0MB0ZE AND 0ALD EE F0R ALL (TH1S 1S NOT AN 0SAMA KAMPAYNE PR0MISS, BUT 1 BELEAVE HE W1LL MAYKE 1T HAPPIN). V0AT 0SAMA!!!>%#$#$!!!!
2 comments:
D00D 1 AGREE H0ALPHARTEDLEE, WE SH1LD MAYK A SOOPUBLOJ KAMPANE F0R 0SAMA
OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!
OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!OSAMA!!!!!
YAH D00D. 1 W1LL G0 T0 K1NK0ZE AND PRINT UPP A FYEW TH0WZIND 0SAMA BANNURS, W1CH 1 W1LL P0AST ALL 0VUR THA F0KKINJ PLASE. 1 MYTE EVIN GIT AN 0SAMA TATT00 0N MY F0RHED. 1 EM PRITTEY SHUR 1F 1 D00 THAT, 1T W1LL GARANTEA H1S VIKTUREY!!$!$!!!!
Post a Comment